How to Stop Stressing and Start Living

Darren Hardy, publisher of Success magazine, blogs about an experience he had as he attended a social function where he had to listen to constant complaining about the economy, how bad Obama was doing, the heathcare plan and on and on and on. He finally got fed up with all the negativity and had a great response to this small group of whiners and complainers. Click here to read his response and to learn a simple exercise that can help you break free when you are feeling overwhelmed, depressed, stressed and defeated.

Traitors to the Cause

"Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might gain by fearing to attempt."

~ William Shakespeare

How to Cash It In for Success

I was reading the second chapter of Napoleon Hill's Think and Grow Rich when I came across a profound truth that reminded me of a financial lesson I learned years ago. Before I reveal the truth, let me share with you the lesson of Realized Gains and Losses:

If you were to take $3,000 and invest it in the stock market at a price of $10 per share, you would have 300 shares of stock. As it sometimes does, the stock price drops to $7 per share. Emotional investors start to panic at this point. After all, they bought the stock at $10 because it had already dropped to this low price and they expected it to shoot back up. But now it dropped even lower and they think they just lost $900 in the transaction.

But what have they really lost? They bought 300 shares and, even though the price dropped, they still have 300 shares. It isn't until they sell those shares that they REALIZE a gain or a loss. And those panicky people that are dumping their shares at $7 a share are kicking themselves at the end of the week when the price rockets back up to $15 a share.

What does all this have to do with Think and Grow Rich?

In the second chapter, Hill writes of the power of Desire. He lists a number of people who have passed through difficulties and disappointment before they achieved anything of consequence. At the end of the short paragraph on Helen Keller, Hill writes:

"...no one is ever defeated until defeat has been accepted as a reality."
Much like the investor in the example above, you have only lost when you accept that reality and decide to cash it in. Nobody ever becomes great or successful without having to experience setbacks, frustrations and adversity. Anybody who tells you otherwise is lying to you. It is only those who continue to believe in their personal value and capability for success that refuse to accept that failure and push on until they reach their success.

What would have happened to Thomas Edison if he had believed the teacher that told him he was too stupid to learn anything and that he should seek a profession where he might succeed by virtue of his pleasant personality?

What would have happened to Oprah Winfrey if she had accepted the judgment that she "had no business anchoring the news in a major market" when she was fired as a TV news anchor?

What would have happened to Walt Disney if he had accepted the assessment that he lacked imagination and had no original ideas" when he was fired by a newspaper editor?

What would have happened to Michael Jordan if he had hung up his basketball shoes when he was cut from his high school team?

What will happen to you if you accept defeat at any stage of your journey? Then nobody will know the real you and the greatness you have to share with the world. Don't let that happen! Do not cash it in until you stand in the winner's circle, triumphant!

Tips for Overcoming Temporary Defeat:

1. Keep your dream firmly fixed in your mind at all times. Create visual reminders like a dream board. Spend a few minutes every morning and every evening visualizing you accomplishing your dream and the benefits that will bring. Really live it!

2. Trust in the value of your dream. Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen were rejected by 144 different publishers that didn't believe a book of short stories would sell when they tried to get Chicken Soup for the Soul published. But they persisted because they knew people wanted what was in that book. People were asking them all the time where they could read the stories they shared in their presentations. When someone rejects you and your dream, trust that there are people waiting for you to succeed; if for no other reason than to believe that it is possible for them, too.

3. Treat each setback as a learning opportunity. Napoleon Hill said that "every adversity, every failure, every heartache carries with it the seed of an equal or greater benefit." Find the lesson in each in every failure and learn from it. It is these lessons that teach you how to become successful.

4. Trust in the power of numbers. Athletes are great examples of the fact that those who are persistent enough to endure failure will succeed. The year that Babe Ruth set the major league record of 714 home runs, he also set another record by striking out 1,330 times. You have to be willing to fail and fail again in order to be successful. This is true in sports, business or any other area of life you are seeking success in. The only people who never fail are those who never try to begin with.

5. Believe and reaffirm your capability of success. I love the quote by Michael Jordan where he says: "I have missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I have lost almost 300 games. On 26 occasions I have been entrusted to take the game winning shot, and I missed. And I have failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is precisely why I succeed." This quote may seem to be more in line with the last point, but I use it here because it illustrates the confidence he had in his ability to win. Our egos, our self-esteem can be so fragile at times and they can take a major hit with every setback or failure. When this happens, be like Mike and just keep shooting with full confidence that your shots are going in. Because when you start hitting your shots, you achieve a mind-body-spirit connection that makes you unstoppable!

Are You Being Robbed?

"It isn't the burdens of today that drive men mad. It is the regrets of yesterday and the fear of tomorrow. Regret and fear are twin thieves that rob us of today. "
~Robert Hastings

Are You In A Recession? I'm Not!

Much of the media has been warning us for several weeks that we are in a recession. There is nothing but doom and gloom in the forecast, President Bush's Economic Stimulus Tax Rebate will not make a difference and we had better prepare for hard times ahead. I'm sure you have all been reading the same articles and hearing the same predictions of the coming financial storm. Personally, I have declined to participate in this recession. How about you?

What Is A Recession?

A recession is defined as being two or more quarters of negative Gross Domestic Product (GDP) growth. What that means is that for two or more quarters consumer, business and government spending decreases while exports and inventory increases.

The interesting thing is that I was listening to Dave Ramsey's talk radio show on the way home from work the other night and he talked about how we are NOT in a recession and how politically biased the media actually is. He pointed out that, if the majority of the population believe that we are in the midst of a recession come election time (and many people already do believe that), there is absolutely no way a Republican candidate will be elected President. For those of you who don't know, a major indication of a recession is an increase (particularly a sharp increase) in the rate of unemployment. Unemployment has held steady of late and has even dropped a little. So where is this recession? I'll tell you where. It is in one of the most dangerous places of all - our minds.

Recession Breeding Ground

At the rate that the so-called recession is becoming the most talked about subject in the media, in schools, in our work places and in our homes, we will end up in a recession.

Why?

Simple.

The more this subject is tossed about, the more fearful people become. And when we make decisions based on fear, we usually make the wrong ones. Those of you who recall the movie The Secret of My Success may remember that when Michael J. Fox's distant uncle's corporation was targeted for hostile takeover, his uncle ordered his executives to find ways to "cut to the core" operations and expenses to try and save cash. Fox, posing as an executive (although he had been hired to work in the mailroom) was adamant that doing so would open them right up for the hostile takeover and that they needed to expand and make the company stronger than their competitor. Then they go and take them over! Unfortunately, most of the executives, including the key senior executives, believed they should just follow the direction they had been given by their superior. The result was that they opened themselves right up for the hostile takeover. (I won't ruin the ending by telling you any more than that.)*

(*Note: If you haven't seen The Secret of My Success, be advised that, while it is a humorous movie, it is rated PG-13 for some language and sexual themes. If you find that offensive, I do not recommend this movie to you; not even when it has been edited for television as the sexual themes play such a large part in the film that they are impossible to edit out.)

So what does this have to do with us? Allow me to explain.

Everyone gets more and more fearful of a recession. They start saving money for potentially hard times ahead. Profits drop for major corporations because people are buying less. They start cutting jobs to reduce expenses and preserve profits. Unemployment rates start rising and we end up in a recession. The danger of this is that when fewer and fewer people are working, two things happen:
1. Fewer and fewer people have jobs to provide money to purchase products to increase profits to induce companies to hire more people.
2. As profits drop, prices go up to make up the difference which reduces our buying power and so we buy less which in turn causes profits to drop.So you can see how the recession would perpetuate itself.

As critical as opponents have been over President Bush's Economic Stimulus checks and how it won't make a difference, he does have the right idea. More people need to buy more products to pull back from a recession. The government can't fix this, only we can.

So, how can I decline participation in the recession?



My Declaration of Declination

"I decline the opportunity to participate in any real or imagined recessions. I choose instead to participate in an expansion of personal prosperity. I do so by focusing on literature, news and topics of study that enhance my life. I accept the events of life as being neither inherently good nor bad but simply opportunities for growth and learning. I recognize that I cannot change these events themselves but I can determine my own outcome by choosing the proper response for the outcome I desire. I look for and take advantage of financial and personal opportunities that create a better future for me, my friends and my family. I will share every opportunity I discover with all those I come in contact with and encourage them to choose for themselves as well."



Selective Media Blackout

The worst things in history have happened when people stop thinking for themselves, especially when they allow themselves to be influenced by negative people. That’s what gives rise to dictators. Avoid that at all costs. Stop it first on a personal level, and you will have contributed to world sanity as well as your own.
~ Donald Trump

The first step I have taken in declining participate is to choose not read about, listen to or think about the chance of a recession. Some people may think that is a stupid idea, but let me tell you why this is important. As I pointed out above, the more it is talked about, the more people fear it and, like a nearby rattlesnake that is poised to strike, they focus and fixate on it. And, by the Law of Attraction, that which we focus on and lend emotion to (and fear is an emotional response), we will attract. Whether you believe in the Law of Attraction or not, you can see how it applies by my earlier illustration of how our fear-driven actions will bring about the recession. I choose instead to focus on uplifting, motivating, inspiring and educational topics instead that will actually benefit me.

E + R = O

Some areas I have chosen to focus on are the beliefs, habits and life lessons shared by successful and wealthy people. One of those people that I have enjoyed studying is Jack Canfield, co-author of the Chicken Soup for the Soul series. Jack taught me about the life formula E + R = O, which means an Event + your Response to that event = your Outcome. He shares a story about a Lexus dealer in the middle of the recession of the early 1980's. Nobody was coming in to buy his cars and he knew he would have to do something different or he would end up going out of business. So he started to ask himself, "Where are the people that can afford to buy my cars?" Well, he came up with that they were probably hanging out at the country clubs at the golf courses, the yacht clubs and so on. So he rounded up all his salesmen, drove a bunch of cars to the local country club, walked in and asked who would like the opportunity to drive a brand new Lexus.

After people had the opportunity to test drive a car, he would tell them to continue to drive it for a week and he would take their car in to the shop, clean it up and detail it free of charge. After the week was up, these drivers would come to trade in the Lexus for their personal vehicles. Now, anyone who is reading this that has driven a brand new car and then gotten back into their old car can probably relate to what happened next. When you get out of a new car and get back into your old car, it doesn't feel as good and doesn't seem to drive as nicely as the new car. The end result was that the dealership sold more cars in the middle of that depression than they ever had in the past all because he changed his response to a situation to get a better outcome.

Opportunities Abound

When we choose our response to life's events, we really take control of our lives. Most people live life in fear, stress and frustration because they feel powerless to deal with unwelcome circumstances. They feel like they have been dealt a bad hand and they have no chance of winning. What they don't realize is that it doesn't matter what cards we are dealt, it is how we play them that matters. As illustrated by Jack Canfield's story above, there are always opportunities. Most people just have a habit of looking at the way things are rather than how they can be.

A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.
~ Sir Winston Churchill

If under the aforementioned Law of Attraction, focusing on a recession will bring about a recession, why not use the same law to turn it around? The easiest way to do that is to ask yourself what you would be doing if the economy was thriving. You would be trying to cash in on it, right? So, the next step in declining participation in a recession is to follow the example of the Lexus dealership owner and look for and take advantage of opportunities for financial growth and prosperity. If we continue to live life the way we have been, look for opportunities to enhance that life, and encourage others to do the same, there is no possible way we will experience a recession.

Give So That You Can Give More

There is a verse in the Bible that says, "Give, and it shall be given unto you; good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over, shall men give into your bosom. For with the same measure that ye mete withal it shall be measured to you again." (Mark 6:38) A lot of people translate this to mean you must give to receive, but that is a selfish attitude to take which does not suit the doctrine presented in the book. I believe it means give to give more.

It is my hope that what I have given here will evoke responses and comments that will enhance what little I have presented; a way of giving more to the reader. I further hope that all who read this will share it further with others at every opportunity. By so doing, we can inspire our family, friends, neighbors and co-workers to choose expansion over a recession and build a more prosperous community for everyone to enjoy.

Life! Focus! ... ACTION!!!!

So, come on, everyone! Shut out the negative prophets of financial doom and replace that with media and topics that fulfill you, enhance you and bring you joy. Choose a better outcome to your circumstances by choosing a better response to events. Look for opportunities to expand your finances, your circle of friends and acquaintances and, thereby, your moments of fun and pleasure. And lastly, tell everyone to do the same! Together, we can turn those financial gurus on their heads and show them a thing or two!

A Personal Apology

It has been nearly 2 months since I last posted in this blog. If there is anyone out there that has been checking back regularly, I apologize for my absence. There have been many a time that I thought about writing a new post to inspire, encourage, advise and to breathe new life and ideas into the reader who comes by for a visit, but I just couldn't do it. I was just too discouraged, stressed and depressed.

Those of you that know me personally may be well-acquainted with my imperfections and flaws, but what many of you may not know is that depression was something that I struggled with for years. Under very special circumstances, I received inspired counsel at the age of 14 from a religious leader that did not know me personally in which I was told to beware of depression as that was a temptation that I would struggle with. Knowing that I was going to struggle with depression, however, did not provide me with the tools necessary to overcome it. It took me many years to figure out why I was depressed so often.

I don't want you to think that my life was especially miserable or difficult. I was pretty much an average American teenager. I had many bright, happy and very enjoyable moments in life, but they seemed to slip through my fingers so easily leaving more than enough room for the darkness that flowed into its place. I eventually learned that a major cause of my depression was my focus on all the things I did not have in life rather than being grateful for the abundance of health, talents, friends, education and wealth that I had been blessed with.

I may not have been the strongest or fastest individual, but I had a complete, healthy, relatively disease-free body that enabled me to play any sport I desired at an average to above-average level.

I may not have been the most-talented individual at sports, music, art or any other area of interest, but I could play sports, picked up on how to play the piano and guitar, re-taught myself how to sing after a throat injury (you can read more about that here), I could draw, paint and sculpt better than the average person and could virtually do anything that I set my mind to if I was willing to put in the time.

I may not have been the most popular individual, but I had many fun and loving friends of all ages in spite of my tendency to behave as a shy person would and hang in the background.

I may not have been the smartest kid in the class or pulled straight A's, but I quickly learned anything I wanted to and could retain the bulk of what I read freeing me from having to put in very much time reviewing and studying.

And I may not have had much money or material possessions growing up (in fact, my family's income was below the average and my parents had to make the dollar stretch with six kids), but I had more than kids in third-world countries, I had the ability and opportunity to work, and everything I listed above along with my family and many other things I did not mention gave me a very blessed and abundant life.

This last category has been the reason for my latest struggles. It is very difficult to focus on long-range goals like completing The Millionaire Marathon when my urgent, short-range issues keep rising up to slap you in the face every single day. I became frustrated, despondent and withdrew into myself to relive the pain again and again and again.


I am happy to say that I have overcome that through the application of an important lesson we all must remember when we are not happy with the way things are:

Do something; anything!!!

I couldn't change the whole situation in that moment, but I could tackle one small part of it and I did. I went to work with an urgency and focused on a future happy outcome. Just in the moving and the doing, hope revives and faith starts to rebuild. Making any sort of progress, no matter how small and insignificant it may seem, is a million times better than doing nothing at all.

Am I out of the woods, yet? No. But I am closer this week than I was last week and I will be even closer next week. I am just taking it one day at a time and making sure that my head and my heart stay in the right place.

As far as posting to this blog, I will resume my efforts to relay and share uplifting, motivating and hopefully inspiring material as often as I am able to do so. I am still working on the Universal Law series that I mentioned nearly 2 months ago and will finish it when I can, but I have some financial projects that take priority right now. So check back from time to time to see where I am at and, if you feel like doing so, leave a comment to let me know you are following and what you find interesting and helpful. If there are topics that you struggle with that you would like some input on, let me know and I will be happy to offer what I can.

I also invite you to come over to my personal blog at http://www.niceguyblogging.blogspot.com/ and read about the Million Step March challenge that I am participating in and the progress I am making with it.

Our Deepest Fear

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
~ Marianne Williamson

from A Return To Love: Reflections on the Principles of A Course in Miracles

Celebrate 2008! - Part 4

Today, as promised, we will speak of some tips and techniques that will help you stick to your resolutions. The key to keeping any resolution lies in your mental and emotional states. I love to watch and play sports because this is one place where you can see the truth of that statement over and over again. Players who have their head in the game and who play it with high enthusiasm and determination achieve incredible victories - even in areas where they may be physically out-matched. So any time you are struggling with a resolution or goal, check to see where you are mentally and emotionally and you may find the solution to your problems.

Keep a Success Journal

One of the greatest tools you can have when working towards any goal is a journal. It is essential for recording your ideas, your success, your failures and what you learned from them, tracking your progress, etc. A success journal can be as simple and as inexpensive as a 3-ring binder with notebook paper in it or a spiral-bound notebook. It can also be a more expensive blank, hard-bound book - whatever works best for you. Jim Rohn, a favorite speaker and author of mine, prefers to use more expensive books. He says: "The reason why I spend so much money for my journals is to press me to find something valuable to put in them." Your success journal will not only be valuable to you but also inspirational to others who read them and see how you accomplished your goals and dreams.

Measure Your Dedication

In the thesaurus, synonyms for the word "resolution" are aim, boldness, constancy, courage, dauntlessness, decidedness, decision, declaration, dedication, determination, doggedness, earnestness, energy, firmness, fixed purpose, fortitude, guts, heart, immovability, intent, intention, judgment, mettle, moxie, obstinacy, perseverance, pluck, purpose, purposefulness, purposiveness, relentlessness, resoluteness, resolve, settlement, sincerity, spirit, spunk, staunchness, staying power, steadfastness, stubbornness, tenacity, verdict, will, and willpower. Does this accurately describe the way you set and keep your resolutions? I suspect that most of us set and work on our resolutions in a way described by one of the two antonyms the thesaurus listed: half-heartedness.

This is a good list of qualities to determine how dedicated you are to achieving the resolution you set. Ask yourself questions like:
Do I have a definite aim to shoot for?
Am I bold enough to move outside my "comfort zone" to achieve it?
Will I be constant in my efforts to accomplish it?
Do I have the courage to overcome any and all obstacles that arise?
Will I be dauntless no matter how hard it gets?
Have I made the decision to accomplish this resolution? (Note: The word "decide" comes from the Latin word "decidere" which means "to cut off from." So, when you truly decide, you cut yourself from any other option including quitting and failure.)
Do you have the dedication to see your resolution through?
Are you determined to succeed no matter what?
Are you earnest in your intention to change your life?
Do you have the energy to go after your resolution with enthusiasm?
Are you firm in your decision to do this?
Are you fixed in your purpose so that nothing can knock you off course?
You get the idea. Pick out the words above that speak to you and that you would like to describe you and your pursuit of accomplishing your resolution. Write down your questions and rate yourself on a scale of 1 - 10. Then ask yourself, "What can I do right now to make this a '10'?" Record the answers in your success journal. Ask these questions again and again throughout your resolution-achieving process so that you are always aware of where your emotional and mental levels lie and do what you can to keep yourself as close to a "10" as possible.

One great example of dedication is Game 5 of the 1997 NBA Playoffs. Michael Jordan, as most of you know, played basketball at a level that made him virtually unstoppable. What made this game different from all other games was that, just hours before the game, Michael could barely pull himself out of his hotel bed as he was suffering from food-poisoning, the flu or both. Most players would have sat out the game being in that sort of condition, but not Michael. Though his body protested, his head and his heart were in the game and in it to win. Michael had ice on his head during time-outs. By the end of the game, his teammate, Scottie Pippen, was practically carrying him off the floor. But, in spite of the physical challenges and difficulties, Michael scored 33 points, had 7 rebounds and 5 assists and played 44 minutes of the game. Is there any question here of whether or not he was a dedicated player? It is no wonder that he said, "If you're trying to achieve, there will be roadblocks. I've had them; everybody has had them. But obstacles don't have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don't turn around and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it."

Keep Your Goals In Front of You

Yesterday, I mentioned that we would talk about why a written goal is so much more powerful than just keeping it in your head. One reason why this is so is because every time you write down your goal statement you drive it deep into your subconscious. It tells your subconscious that you are serious and your subconscious will work for you by feeding you ideas and inspiration and make you aware of resources and opportunities that become available to you.
Review your goals (or even better, rewrite them) every morning and every evening of every day. Take 5-10 minutes to visualize and see yourself accomplishing your goal. Feel the feelings associated with your accomplishment. Hear the sounds. Smell the smells. Experience the joy! The more senses you get involved, the more real you make it, the more you believe it both consciously and subconsciously.

Keep an index card with your goals written on them in your wallet. Write them on the back of your business card. Have a card with your goals on them taped to the dashboard of your car, the bathroom mirror, the bottom of your computer monitor, the backside of your front door - everywhere you can think of so that you encounter them again and again and again throughout the day.

Dream Board

Another way to keep your goals in front of you is a dream board. This is a bulletin board or posters filled with pictures that relate to your goal. If your resolution this year is to make more money so that you can save up for your dream vacation, cut out pictures from travel brochures of your destination, the means by which you will travel (cruise ship?), and the activities you will participate in while you are there. If you are trying to get in shape or lose weight, cut out pictures of people who are trim, fit or have the ideal body shape you are shooting for. Paste your head over theirs - just make sure it is a picture where you are smiling. Put your dream board someplace where you will see it every day - preferably several times a day - and use it to recharge your vision often!

Chart Your Progress

Make a large poster with the days of the month at the top and a list of your daily activities on the left side. Use bold colors to fill in the days that you successfully accomplish your tasks to give you a visual picture of how you are doing. Just like a check-list, it is compelling to have a tool such as this because you will feel this strong urge to fill in those spaces and you will be more motivated to accomplish your daily tasks. Post it up on your bedroom wall where it is nice and visible so it is the first thing you see when you wake up in the morning and the last thing you see when you go to sleep.

Get an Accountability Partner

If you are only accountable to yourself, you will find it so much easier to quit on your goals. You can rationalize away your own guilt, can't you? After all, you have done it so many times before. Make yourself accountable to others, however, and it becomes so much harder. You will find that you won't want to let them down. Some people will say that you shouldn't tell others about your goals because most people are negative and will only tear you down and tell you that you can't or won't make it. I believe, however, that other people are essential to your success. So choose a positive person (or several people) who believes in you to be your accountability partner. Ask them not only to be your cheerleader throughout the process, but also the stern coach who will kick you in the butt when you need it the most. When you have all your closest friends asking you how it is coming on the book you are writing, the exercise program you are starting or your dream to learn to play the piano, you will do all you can to give them a positive report every time.

The best accountability partner you can get is one who is doing it with you. When you have a walking partner or an exercise partner who will not let you sleep in but drags you out every morning at 6 a.m. sharp to go the gym, there is no way you can fail! (And if they aren't going to let you sleep in when you are tired, there is no way you are going to let them sleep in after all the times they dragged you out of your bed kicking and screaming, right?)

Procrastinate Procrastination! - Schedule It

When you feel like putting off your goal-achieving activities for any reason - whether it is because you're tired, you just want to relax a while, whatever it is - make a decision to procrastinate procrastination. Put off the putting off until later that day or even tomorrow. Schedule a time to watch T.V., surf the internet, play video games, do some recreational reading, etc. and keep that appointment. If you don't keep it, you will have even a greater desire to procrastinate on your goals because you will feel like you have been cheated on your "me" time to sit back and relax.

Procrastinate Procrastination! - Eliminate It

How do you motivate yourself in that moment when you really feel like putting off your goal activities? Easy! Just write down the answers to 3 simple questions:

1. Where are you and what are you doing? You may notice a pattern of locations and activities that have been making it difficult for you to get motivated. I found that laying on the living room couch, curled up in a ball to get warm was not the best place to motivate myself to get up and get moving in the morning (even though I had moved from the bed to the couch). Even sitting on the couch was dangerous because I would soon lay my head back and fall back asleep in seconds. So I started avoiding the couch like the plague!

2. What do you want to do? Now this isn't where you say, "I want to go back to bed and get more sleep!" This is where you write down what you want to accomplish in terms of your resolutions and goals. You may think you need a little more sleep, but what you really want is to go hit the gym so that you can drop those 20 pounds! You want to tighten that tush and those abs so that when you look in the mirror you will see your body curve in all the right places! You want those bulges to be on your biceps again rather than on your waistline! What is it that you really want to do?

3. How will you feel while doing it? You may you feel more energized because you are exercising again. You may feel more powerful because you conquered your weaker self. You may feel more joy in knowing that you are on the way to achieving your goal. Decide how you will feel and you are more likely to experience that feeling.

Once you have answered these three questions, you will feel more motivated to work on your goal. The reason for this is that you have already seen yourself doing it in your mind while you answered the questions, didn't you? And where the mind goes, the body will follow. You still had your mind thinking about bed and sleep so that is where you wanted to be. Now that you are thinking and seeing yourself exercise and having fun and losing weight, that is what you want to do. Trust me. It works!

Procrastinate Procrastination! - Shift Your Focus

Mike Litman, a mentor of mine, taught me an important concept in overcoming procrastination or doing those activities that you really don't feel like doing in any given moment. Some people get up on those cold, windy, rainy mornings, look outside at the weather, crack their jaws with a mighty yawn, decide it's not worth it and head back to bed. Other people get up on those cold, windy, rainy mornings, look outside at the weather, crack their jaws with a mighty yawn, throw on their gym clothes and minutes later they are at the gym enjoying a great workout. What is the difference here? It's their focus!

The person who decides it's not worth it and heads back to bed is the person who is focused on the process. They are thinking about how cold it will be to go outside, how tired they will feel just starting their workout, how their muscles will burn as the work up a sweat and then how much colder they will be going back out in that weather all sweaty to go home. Brrr! I am getting cold just writing about it and even I wouldn't mind a nice, warm bed right now.

The person who goes to the gym isn't thinking so much about the process as they are focusing on the results. They are thinking how good they will look in their bathing suit. How good it will feel to put on that dress that is two sizes smaller without feeling like they were stuffed into it. The admiring look their spouse will give them when they walk into a room. The joy of chasing kids around the playground without feeling out of breath. The pleasure of living long and actively well into their golden years because of the exercise habit they had established in 2008. When you don't feel like doing something, focus on the results you will accomplish and allow the feelings of enjoying the benefits motivate you to action!

Make the Process Fun!

One reason why people don't follow through on their resolutions and goals is because they aren't having any fun. They want to lose the weight, but they don't particularly enjoy getting up early. They would much rather stay up watching their favorite T.V. shows. And if you are going to be up that late you have to eat a snack because you get hungry that long after a meal. My wife found a way to beat this by having me arrange the family room in such a way that her she could see the T.V. from her treadmill. Then she had me buy her a pair of wireless headphones on eBay so that she was the only person who would hear anything. After that she would set the DVR to record all her favorite shows. She went to bed at a decent hour, got up the next morning at 5:30 a.m., threw on her exercise clothes, and went for very brisk walks while the kids slept and enjoyed her favorite T.V. shows at the same time. The kids never woke up because the headphones eliminated the need to turn the volume up. Plus, she never had to sit through the commercials because she could fast-forward through them.

The Mary Poppins Principle

If the tasks that you have selected to achieve your resolution ever end up feeling a little bit tedious and boring, apply the Mary Poppins principle! "In every job that must be done, there is an element of fun. You find the fun and - SNAP! - the job's a game!" Make it fun and challenging. Establish your personal "bests" in different areas of your tasks and try to beat them. Don't allow it to become mundane. Have fun with it!

These are just a few of the ideas that are out there that will help you stay committed and focused on achieving your resolutions this year. Come back to The Millionaire Marathon blog throughout the year for more ideas, tips, and coaching on how to go for your dreams and get them.

You now have everything you need to set your New Year's Resolutions and to achieve them. Have you written anything down yet? Well, what are you waiting for? Get started!

Have a happy New Year, everyone! I hope that 2008 will be your best year ever (at least until you get to 2009)! I know you can make it so! Have fun but stay safe tonight!







Oh, wait! I did promise you 5 days of information, didn't I? Come back tomorrow for Celebrate 2008! - Part 5 where I will give you some final bits of advice. I'll see you tomorrow morning!

Celebrate 2008! - Part 2

Yesterday, I mentioned the fact that less than 50% of Americans even set resolutions, and, out of those that do set them, only 15% ever accomplish them. In fact, one could say that the only resolution most people keep is to NOT keep their New Year's Resolutions. Are you ready to change all that? Good! First, let's deal with the problem of people not setting New Year's Resolutions.

Why People Do Not Set New Year's Resolutions

There are a variety of reasons why people don't set their resolutions. They may include:

They don't really know what they want.

I believe people know more what they want than they realize. Most people are complaining about something in life. If you are unhappy with a situation like being in debt, having too many bills to pay, being overweight or the house is always a mess then you obviously want the opposite of that situation. This means you want to pay off your debts, reduce your expenses or increase your income, exercise more and lose weight, and establish a better organization system in your home or teach your kids/spouse/yourself to put things away and develop better and/or more consistent cleaning habits. So what is it that you want?

They are too busy or disorganized to set them.

These are the people that say they will set their resolutions when they get around to it. I can understand this because I have been guilty of using this reason myself. The one thing I have going for me is that my birthday falls on February 5 and I tend to look back on the past year of my life at this point as well. I have often realized that another year has passed without much improvement or accomplishment in the areas I wanted to improve or accomplish in. Sometimes I set resolutions for My New Year of Life at this point. Other times, I am still to busy. Most people, I imagine, just never get around to it at all. If you don't take the time to make plans to improve your life right now, why would you expect tomorrow or the next day to be any different?

They feel overwhelmed when they set them.

Some people feel like it has to be all or nothing. They must change everything they don't like about their life right now or why should they bother. So they set as many resolutions as they can think of ... and then never achieve anything because they are torn in so many different directions. That would be like throwing the "Hail Mary" pass in football on every play. You will never win that way. Just like a sequence of well-executed football plays that eat up a little bit of yardage at a time can result in big wins, a small number of resolutions (or even just one at a time) will ultimately result in massive life improvements if done consistently.

Another type of overwhelm, aside from having too much to work on, can be not knowing where to start. This is very similar to not knowing what you want in that most people really do know where to start. They just don't acknowledge it. If you want to lose weight, it isn't a question of which exercise would be most beneficial for you, it is a question of establishing a consistent, daily exercise habit and see what works best for you. Most people seem to think that life is Ready! Aim! Fire! when most successful people in any area of life have learned that it really is Ready! Fire! Aim! Ready means knowing what you want, Fire means taking action on it, and Aim means adjusting your course of action based on the results you get.

FEAR

This can mean fear of failure, fear of rejection or fear of the unknown. We are creatures of comfort and habit. We create our "comfort zone" and are very reluctant to venture outside of it. Setting a resolution for anything means change and change means venturing outside your current "comfort zone." For most people, the only time they expand their "comfort zone" is when it has become too constricting to be comfortable anymore. What people do not realize is that we can never truly leave our "comfort zone." The borders are flexible; not rigid. They allow us to push out, and, if we stay out there long enough, the border expands to that point so we are no longer pushing. It is like Mark Twain said: "Do the thing you fear and the death of fear is certain."

They are too content with just "getting by"

These are the people who do not truly understand the importance and power of resolutions. They don't feel that changing their life is important. The truth of the matter is that things that do not change, adapt and improve DIE! Just think how different your life would be if you were in the same state that you were in when you entered this world:
--- You would starve because you never learned to feed yourself.
--- You would be immobilized because you never learned to crawl or walk.
--- You would be uneducated because you never learned to read or write or even think for yourself.
Now you may say that is ridiculous, but so is thinking that just "getting by" is a good state to remain in. Life is about change, growth, development and improvement. Setting a resolution is the first step to making those changes and improvements a reality.

The most common reason you may hear from people who do not set resolutions is most likely to be:

Resolutions do not work!

WRONG!!! You just never learned how to do it effectively! A resolution is a tool for life improvement. Like any tool, you must learn how to use it properly for it to work. That will be our focus in the next couple of days.

Those are a few of the reasons, or more accurately named - EXCUSES, that people give for not setting New Year's Resolutions. Maybe some of those sound familiar to you due to your own experience. If so, I hope I have shared some information that will encourage you to never use those excuses again. Now, let me leave you with a few of the benefits of setting resolutions. You may have gleaned some of your own from the paragraphs above, but here are a few more:

Reasons to Set New Year's Resolutions

Resolutions give you a target to aim for!

As I mentioned earlier, life is about changing, growing, progressing and developing. Resolutions enable you to set the direction for that growth. It not only gives your conscious mind something to focus on, but, if done properly, also puts your subconscious mind to work, which helps you accomplish your resolutions much, much faster.

Resolutions help you concentrate your time and effort!

Some people of us trudge through every single day wishing for something better. Then in the quiet of the evening, when the voices of discontent clamor the loudest, we drown them out through the use of television, narcotics and alcohol. When you have a resolution, you are able to focus on the way things will be when you are done instead of the unhappy state of things as they are now. You have an objective to focus on and to plan your days' activities by.

Resolutions provide motivation, persistence and desire!

My wife and I were talking about the reasons why we don't work on our resolutions as often as we should. One thing we both realized is that we don't want to work on them when we consistently don't work on them. But when are working on our resolutions and achieving those small daily victories, our emotions are saying, "Yeah, baby! Hit me again! I want some more of that!" The motivation, persistence and desire come in the doing and the doing comes from having a resolution to shoot for.

Resolutions help you establish priorities!

How many of you have gone to bed at night feeling like you should have accomplished more that day. The house needed cleaned up, you needed to work on your home-based business, you should have exercised, the house needed to be cleaned up, you wanted to write for your blog that day, or you should have spent more time with your kids and/or your significant other. But, instead, you chose to relax in front of the T.V., and now it is too late to do anything. I know I have been guilty of that on many occasions. Resolutions enable you to set down what is important in your life. And, if you choose to work on them before the relaxing (or at least add time to relax to your daily schedule and keep to that time limit so you can work on your resolutions), then your life will improve by leaps and bounds.

Just don't ever fall into the trap of thinking that your priorities are set in stone for the whole year. There are times when your circumstance will change unexpectedly (and sometimes not so unexpectedly) that will require a rearrangement of your priorities.

For example, you may have set the resolution to practice the guitar for one hour every day to get better at playing it. Once your wife has the baby though, you can no longer practice at home because it wakes the baby or your wife who is getting so little sleep as it is. You may have to change the priority to taking the baby for an hour while you are at home so the misses can get some rest and settle for a half hour practice at work as part of your lunch break.

Or perhaps the expectant mother had planned to walk every day to stay in shape and keep her weight gain down during her pregnancy. Now the doctor has put her on bed rest with two months to go. As frustrating as this may be, it would be foolish, not to mention dangerous, to violate the doctor's orders. It would be better to for her to make her and the baby's health the priority by following the doctor's orders and temporarily postponing the exercise and weight loss resolution until after the baby is born and the doctor has given the O.K. to continue.

Resolutions provide a road map from where you are to where you want to be!

When you set your resolutions you not only know where your life is going but you also have a plan for how to get there. It may only be a partial plan to get you started and head you in the right direction, but, just like driving in the dark where your headlights illuminate only so many feet in front of you, the rest of the road will appear before you as you travel. And there will be times when the Construction Detours of Life will force you to take a different road than you had planned. But, just as if you had to take a detour on the way to work, you don't just throw your hands in the air and say, "That's it! They closed my road! I'm not going in to work today or not even until the road re-opens!" You would simply re-route your journey so that you still arrive at your destination.

So those are just a few major reasons why resolutions are so important and beneficial for each and every one of us. If you think of some others, please share them in the comments section below so that we all may benefit from your insights.

Celebrate 2008! will continue tomorrow in Part 3 as we talk about how to set powerful resolutions that stick!

Lessons Relearned

In the Parable of the Talents, we learn of three servants who are entrusted with large amounts of money while their master is away. Two of the servants double their money through trade while the third buries the money he was given because he was afraid of losing it. When the master returned, he commended the first two servants for their faithfulness. The third servant is chastised severely being called a "wicked and slothful servant", the money he had was taken and given to the first servant and he was cast out.

I am not proud to say that I have been a "wicked and slothful servant" of late. I was on Step 5 of The Millionaire Marathon and had been for over a week and a half. I carried my marathon money in my pocket every day with the intent of moving to the next step. I had many opportunities to progress in the game, but I buried my money in my pocket instead out of fear. And now, like the slothful servant, my marathon money has been taken from me!

I went to put my marathon money back in my pocket last night and it was gone. I am guessing that my overzealous wife cleaned it up and put it in our change jar or one of my children found it and took it. Either way, according to the rules of The Millionaire Marathon, I am back on Step 1. Am I sad about it? To be honest, I was really frustrated at first. But every setback, every frustration, every failure is a learning opportunity. Here are the lessons that I learned:

1. Be careful with your money and know where it is at all times. Do not assume that you are okay financially. Know!

2. Give in to your fears and you are destined for failure.

3. Use it or lose it! If you do not use your talents (whether it be finances or abilities) they will be taken from you.

Here is your opportunity to learn from my failure so that you do not have to experience that pain yourself.

Now, I have experienced a major setback, but I am going to bounce back in a big way. Just you wait! I will be on Step 10 by Christmas Day! That will only leave me 18 more steps until I reach One Million Dollars!!!

I'll see you at the finish line!

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If you haven't even started running The Millionaire Marathon and would like to know how to get started, e-mail me at themillionairemarathon@hotmail.com for more information.

3 Ways to Ask

Yesterday, I suggested that in order to get more out of life you need to ask for it. As I was writing that blog post, it occurred to me that there is more than one way to ask. I have for your consideration three different ways to make your request and the situations where they are most likely to come into play.

1. Verbal Asking

This is probably what the majority of you first think of when you hear the words "Ask for it!" This method is primarily used when you want something tangible from someone else. When kids want a drink, they verbally ask their parents - even if it means calling out their order from the other room at 2 a.m. When employees want a raise, they have to verbally ask their boss. When a customer wants a discount, they verbally ask the salesperson. Probably the only instance where you don't believe you have to verbally ask for something from someone else is in marriage. (You mean you didn't know that men are supposed to be mind readers?)

2. Asking by Taking Action

This method of asking is primarily used when you want something from yourself rather than for yourself. If you want to become a more successful salesperson, you need to act the way a successful salesperson does. If you want to have bigger muscles, you have to ask your body to cooperate by acting on your desire and lifting weights. If you want to have more positive thinking, you ask your mind to cooperate by focusing on what's good in life. If you want to lose weight, you have to take action by implementing a better diet and exercise program. I really don't think it would be an effective strategy to ask each piece of cheesecake you eat to stay away from your hips. They tend to ignore those types of requests.

3. Asking by Giving

This last method is best realized in emotional areas. If you want to feel love, give love to others. If you want to feel peace, bring peace into the lives of others. It also means that if you want to feel hate, give hateful experiences to others. So we must be careful with this method - especially because that which we receive, good or bad, is usually in greater proportion to that which we gave out.

The great thing about this method is that it can totally change your day in an instant. If you are feeling sad and lonely, you can change that around by simply giving your loving friendship to another.

So take some time after you have read this and think about what it is you want and ponder which method would be the most effective to use in order to ask for it. Then start asking!!!

If it is scary for you to ask for things, my recommendation to you is to ask anyway!

"Do the thing you fear the most and the death of fear is certain."

~ Mark Twain

The more often you ask - even for little things, the easier it will be to ask no matter how big the request.

"That which we persist in doing becomes easier; not that the nature of the thing itself is changed, but that our power to do is increased."

~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

And if you don't get it right away or someone tells you "No!", my advice to you is to take the advice of Mark Victor Hansen when he says, "You have to ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask!"

To learn more about the power of asking and how to do it, I recommend reading The Aladdin Factor by Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen.

How To Get More Out of Life

Yesterday, we spoke of the whiners, the gripers and the complainers - all those people who are not happy with what they get in life but are more than happy to tell you all about it. The funny thing is that they are getting exactly what they asked for!

I bargained with Life for a penny,

And Life would pay no more,

However I begged at evening

When I counted my scanty store;

For Life is a just employer,

He gives you what you ask,

But once you have set the wages,

Why, you must bear the task.

I worked for a menial's hire,

Only to learn, dismayed,

That any wage I had asked of Life,

Life would have paid.

~ Jessie Belle Rittenhouse

If you want to get more out of life, ask for it!

But most people don't ask for more. They usually just complain to those people who can do nothing about what they are complaining about. People who are unhappy with their wages or their working environment go home and complain to their spouses. People who are unhappy with their spouse go to work and complain to their co-workers. People who are unhappy with their financial situation complain to their families about how broke they are. Why don't they go to the source of their problem and ask for it to be better?

Fear! That's why! Whether it is fear of rejection, fear of being alone, fear of being laughed at, etc. But as Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "He (or she) who is not everyday conquering some fear has not learned the secret of life." And the only way to conquer fear is to take a chance and do the thing you are afraid of doing.

So, if you are sick and tired of the wages you have been receiving in any area of your life, quit complaining about it and just ask for something better!

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Let me show you a fun way to "bargain with life for a penny" and then increase your asking ability until you have over $1,000,000! Read through The Millionaire Marathon introductory series starting with In the beginning... and follow the instructions at the end of the series to find out how to do it!