Allow Your Life to Be Wonderful

I haven't posted for several days now as I have had a very full schedule of late and am at the same time preparing as best I can for the kick off of the 2008 National Novel Writing Month coming up this Saturday. In spite of my very full and very busy schedule, I do want to share with you something that my wife and I have been focusing on this past week that has had a major impact in our relationships, our businesses and our finances.

This concept is the culmination of a number of success training cds and books that I have been listening to and reading over the past several weeks. They all have a different focus on success, but the information I am about to share with you was present in all of them. And "in the mouth of two or three witnesses shall every word be established." (2 Cor. 13:1)

To start off, I want you to think of a goal you are currently pursuing or one that you are interested in pursuing. Fix that goal firmly in your mind and then answer the following question:

Why do you want to accomplish this goal?

As you answer this question, I want you to consider whether or not you have given the true answer to the question. In the company that I work for, we have found that the first answer we think of when we ask the question "Why did this happen?" is rarely the root cause of a problem. So we use what is called a "5 Why" process to get to the real answer. I recommend using the same process in identifying your core reason for wanting to accomplish a goal.

For example, let's say that you have a home-based business that is bringing in an extra $250 a month. You might have the goal of increasing the income from this business to $500 a month.

Why do you want to increase your income from your business to $500 a month?

To have more money in my pocket.

If you look at that answer, is the real reason you want to increase your income so that you can have more little pieces of paper with pictures of dead presidents on them is it? Of course not. So keep asking "Why?" until you find your real reason.

Why do you want more money in your pocket?

So that I can pay my expenses as soon as I incur them.

Why do you want to pay your expenses as soon as you incur them?

So I never have to go into debt for anything.

Why do you never want to go into debt for anything?

So I don't have the stress of making a credit card payment every month.

Why don't you want the stress of making a credit card payment every month?

So I can feel good whenever I think about my finances.

Your answers may have been different than these here, but if you ask "Why?" often enough you will most likely get to the point of saying "...because it makes me feel good." That is really what we want, isn't it? It doesn't matter if your goal is losing weight, developing an artistic or musical talent, finding a spouse, starting a business or any other target. Isn't your real reason for wanting these things in your life because they would make you feel good?

But can't you feel good right now?

Some of you may have responded to that question with "No! Not with the amount of debt I have!" or something similar. And if that was your response I would like to ask: Have you had any moments today where you felt happy, even if it was just for a moment? This week? This month? I am willing to bet that you have. And why is it that you were able to feel happy? You were probably focused on something else in that moment other than what you usually focus on to feel unhappy.

The large majority of us set up rules like the one I mentioned above that determine when we can feel happy and, by default, when we can't. I will be happy when I get rid of all this debt. I will be happy when I lose 50 pounds. I will be happy when I am lying on the sandy beaches of Hawaii. But we have those small moments that are exceptions to these imperfect rules where we feel happy even though we haven't satisfied our preset guidelines for happiness.

We can in this very moment be happy, not just feel happy, actually be happy by choosing to be so. As I mentioned in the last paragraph, we set the rules for when we can be happy so by the same measure we choose to not play by those rules. We can be happy right now! It is simply a matter of controlling our emotions rather than letting them control us.

And we must control our emotions if we are to accomplish our goals. If we don't, we will not have the power behind us that will enable us to succeed.

"Just as your car runs more smoothly and requires less energy to go faster and farther when the wheels are in perfect alignment, you perform better when your thoughts, feelings, emotions, goals, and values are in balance."
~ Brian Tracy

My wife and I have found this to be so true over the past few weeks. We have been working on controlling our emotions in regards to our financial situation and to the building of her Mary Kay business. My wife has also been applying this toward her continual efforts to meet a major weight-loss goal. We have released our attachments to what our expected outcomes are and just chosen to feel good no matter what happens. And the results have been amazing! We have experienced financial miracles, my wife's business has just been booming and she is making progress as she works on losing those last stubborn pounds that she wants to lose. (She has lost 45 pounds already!) In addition to that, our relationship with each other and with our children is better than it has ever been. Everything is just "clicking" for us!

But even if none of this had happened, we would still be happy ... because we choose to be so!

But it hasn't all been smooth sailing. You probably know as well as I do that whenever you feel like you are on top of the world someone or something will come along and try to knock you off. What makes the difference is how you respond to that event. And the best way you can respond is with gratitude.

If you are trying to pay down your debts and an exceptionally high utility bill comes through, be grateful for the continuous service that you have been given that enables you to light, heat and cool your home.

If you have a medical emergency, don't worry about the impending bill. Be grateful that you are still alive and live in an area where skilled and trained physicians are available to care for your medical needs.

If you are trying to lose weight and you go up one week rather than down, be grateful that you live in an area of the world where food is abundant and that you don't go to bed at night in extreme hunger.

If your business is building slower than you hope, be grateful that you have not only the skills and abilities to do business but also an exceptional mind that is open to ideas and inspirations that can and will lead you to build it faster and/or better.

Whenever obstacles arise before you, be grateful for them and the opportunity to become better and stronger by overcoming them.

If you think long enough, you can always find something to be grateful for. And it is impossible to feel grateful and be unhappy at the same time.

Whatever it is that you desire to accomplish in your life, allow your life to be wonderful in the process and watch how easily people, resources and events line up and fall into place to bring you success beyond your wildest dreams.

Action Steps:
1. Identify an area in your life you would like to improve or develop.
2. Identify what negative feelings come to your mind when you think about accomplishing this goal.
3. Release the negative feelings and choose to be happy.
4. Overcome challenges to your happiness with an attitude of gratitude.

The Importance of Brick Walls

I have been reading Randy Pausch's book The Last Lecture and I came across a chapter where he talks about the importance of brick walls. Whenever we are in pursuit of something we really want, we all have encountered one or more brick walls that stand in the way of getting it. But Randy makes the point that brick walls are not designed to keep you from getting what you want. Not at all! Brick walls are simply there to test just how bad you really want it.



Think about that for a moment. Think about the last time you pursued a goal (no matter how big or small) that you did not achieve. What stopped you from achieving it? What was the brick wall? Why did it stop you? Or perhaps a better question is why did you let it stop you?



I am willing to bet that the majority of the brick walls we encounter that stop us are not insurmountable so much as they are unexpected. We have a plan, a road map that is going to take us from the where we are to where we want to be. We expect a few bumps in the road and maybe a couple of small hills; we know we could handle those. But where in the world did that mountain range come from? We then set up camp beside the mountains rationalizing that we have come so far and that is good enough. We obviously don't want it bad enough to climb the mountain.

"If you're trying to achieve, there will be roadblocks. I've had them; everybody has had them. But obstacles don't have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don't turn around and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it."
~ Michael Jordan

Michael Jordan is someone that I have admired for a long time - not so much for his achievements as for the example he sets in overcoming every brick wall that gets in his way to achieve it. Most people think Michael was just naturally talented and that was why he achieved all he did. But did you know that he was cut from the varsity team his sophomore year? Did you know that in the third game of his second NBA season he broke a bone in his left foot that sidelined him for 64 games? Did you know that he and his team were booted from the playoffs by the same team three years in a row, denying him his first NBA title? Do you know that he was highly criticized for that fact and his team leadership abilities questioned? Did you know that just before fifth game of the 1998 NBA finals he contracted a horrible case of the stomach flu but he played through it and still scored 35 points? (Most players can't score 35 points in a game when they are in the best shape of their lives.)

Michael Jordan is no stranger to brick walls. But he overcame every single one of them because he wanted what was on the other side bad enough. I remember watching that fifth game of the '98 finals. If you didn't see it, you probably don't understand how bad it was for him. But I saw the toll the physical exertion was taking on his already weakened body. The pain was etched in his face. At the end of the game, his teammates were practically carrying him off the floor to keep him from collapsing.

I wondered at the time why he played. It didn't secure them the championship because they still had to win one more game in order to do that. It wasn't for the thrill of playing the game because I could easily see that that particular game was absolutely all work and no play for him. What it came down to is this: he wanted that championship so badly for himself and for his teammates that he was completely unwilling to allow even the possibility of his team losing a single game if he was able to do something about it. He knew there was still a chance that he could fail - that they would lose the game. But he was okay with that possibility. What he was not okay with was not trying.

"I can accept failure, everyone fails at something. But I can’t accept not trying."
~ Michael Jordan

I did not mean for this to become a Michael Jordan tribute post, but what I hope you take away from this is that even the greatest achievers we have ever known have brick walls to overcome. Most multi-millionaires have experienced bankruptcy. Many fitness and health gurus were once fat. Beethoven was deaf. Thomas Edison was told by his teacher that he was too stupid to learn anything. Walt Disney was fired from by a newspaper because he "lacked imagination and had no original ideas." Oprah Winfrey was fired as a TV news anchor and was told she had "no business anchoring the news in a major market." Albert Einstein's PhD dissertation was rejected. Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen were rejected by 140 publishers who thought there was no market for Chicken Soup for the Soul. The difference between all of them and each of us is that they wanted their dreams bad enough to overcome any and every brick wall that arose in front of them.

Do you want it bad enough to do the same?

Action Steps:
1. Write down a dream that you are ready to pursue or one you are already pursuing.
2. Write down all the reasons why you absolutely have to achieve that dream. What will it give you? What pleasure will you experience?
3. Write down all that you will miss out on if you quit on your dream. What pains will you experience if you allow yourself to fail?
4. Identify foreseeable brick walls, both internal ones and external ones, that could possibly pop up in your way as you pursue your dream.
5. For each brick wall, identify strategies for going over them, around them, or through them.
6. Take action on your dreams every single day and don't settle for "good enough". You deserve better than that. You deserve the "GREAT!!!" So endure to the end so that you, too, may say, "I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith" (2 Tim. 4:7) and I AM VICTORIOUS!

I am Complaint Free!

At the end of the First Step series yesterday we talked a little about the "Blame Game" and the negative effect that it has on you. Today, let's talk a little about the precursor to blaming - complaining!

You usually don't blame someone or something unless you have a complaint about something. And a complaint is nothing more than a negative focus on a particular situation or outcome. In fact, the dictionary defines a complaint as an expression of discontent, regret, pain, censure, resentment, or grief; lament; faultfinding.

What important lesson can you learn from that definition?

The point that I noticed in that definition is that in order for something to qualify as a complaint, it has to be expressed. It is human to feel discontentment, regret, pain, resentment and grief about things in life. But it is our choice whether or not we continue to focus on it and share that negative focus with others. The danger of doing so is that negativity is highly contagious and deadly to the spirit. The symptoms of this disease include depression, a darkening of the mind, unconscious and consistent frowning, a downward mental spiral, and an overwhelming desire to spread this disease further so that others will feel just as bad as you do or at least give you attention for having contracted it.

So, what do we do?

“If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude. Don’t complain.”
~ Maya Angelou

You have a choice when you are faced with something that dissatisfies you. You can eliminate the negativity altogether by simply changing what you don't like. But, if you can't change it (or, as I prefer, until you change it since I believe that there is very little in this world we cannot change if we persist long enough until it does change), change your attitude and focus on something positive. But, if you struggle to do even that much, the least you can do is keep it to yourself until you do find a better focus so that you do not spread that negativity out into the world.

The Serenity Prayer

God grant me the serenity to
accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

I was pleased to learn today that Congressman Sam Graves of Missouri introduced a bill last July designed to reduce the amount of complaining in the U.S. To some this seems impossible and a silly waste of taxpayer's dollars. Unlike the $700 billion bailout package that has yet to make a difference (that is not a complaint, mind you - just an observation of fact), this strikes at the core of a problem rather than the typical attempt to treat the symptoms and hope the problems we face go away. It is by no means an extravagant or costly plan. What Graves has proposed is to make the Wednesday before Thanksgiving an official “Complaint Free Wednesday” in the U.S. in order to help us prepare for a day of gratitude.

H.Con.Res.404 is currently in committee, but in order for it to pass it needs 50 members of Congress to act as co-sponsors. I have included the full text of the bill and, if you can support this act, click HERE or follow the instructions after the text of the bill to send an e-mail to your congressional representative and encourage their support of this act. I would then recommend that you e-mail everyone in your address book and encourage them to read this blog posting and e-mail their representative as well.

If you choose to act on this, please leave me a comment so that I can see who my fellow non-complainers are. Those are the people I want to hang out with!

HCON 404 IH

110th CONGRESS

2d Session

H. CON. RES. 404

Supporting the goals and ideals of Complaint Free Wednesday.

IN THE HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES

July 31, 2008

Mr. GRAVES submitted the following concurrent resolution; which was referred to the Committee on Oversight and Government Reform

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CONCURRENT RESOLUTION

Supporting the goals and ideals of Complaint Free Wednesday.

Whereas the average person complains approximately 15 to 30 times per day, resulting in approximately 4,570,350,000 complaints per day in the United States;

Whereas people complain in order to negatively get attention from others, avoid taking action, pre-excuse poor performance, brag, or exercise control over others;

Whereas complaining damages a person’s health, relationships, and ability to solve underlying problems;

Whereas violence usually begins with complaining by expressing grief, pain, or discontent;

Whereas it is not complaining if a person acts proactively to resolve an issue;

Whereas ‘A Complaint Free World’ is an organization that encourages people to wear purple bracelets as a symbolic reminder to change a person’s complaining nature;

Whereas ‘A Complaint Free World’ has delivered approximately 5,439,532 purple bracelets to people throughout the world;

Whereas ‘A Complaint Free World’ hopes to inspire 1 percent of the world’s population to have a positive attitude;

Whereas supporters of this movement have worked with thousands of schools in the United States through the Complaint Free program and have achieved amazing results in creating positive attitudes; and

Whereas Complaint Free Wednesday will be observed on the day before Thanksgiving, providing each person in the United States a day free from complaining in order to prepare for a day of gratitude: Now, therefore, be it

Resolved by the House of Representatives (the Senate concurring), That Congress--

(1) supports the goals and ideals of Complaint Free Wednesday;

(2) encourages each person in the United States to remember that having a positive life begins with having a positive attitude; and

(3) recognizes and reaffirms the meaning of Thanksgiving by asking each person in the United States to use Complaint Free Wednesday to refrain from complaining and prepare for a day of gratitude.

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Here is how you can garner support for this bill:

Congressman Sam Graves of Missouri has introduced House Resolution H.CON.RES.404 to officially declare the day before Thanksgiving “Complaint Free Wednesday” in the United States of America.

For this to become a reality, we need you to contact your congressional representative and ask him or her to become a Co-Sponsor of this bill. For it to pass, this bill needs 50 members of congress to act as co-sponsors.

* * * Here’s what To Do * * *

1. Go to www.house.gov/writerep/

You will be directed to The U.S. House of Representatives web site. Enter your STATE and ZIP CODE. This will launch a window so you can send an email directly to your congressional representative.

2. Email the following Text. You can copy and paste it from here.(Be sure and insert your representative’s name at the top and your name and town at the bottom)

Dear Representative ___________,

As you know, the attitude of a society plays a critical role in the well being and prosperity of its citizens.

The United States has long been the can-do optimist capital of the world, and I urge you to please CO-Sponsor and support H.Con.Res 404, which reminds Americans that a positive attitude and avoiding complaints can have a profound impact on our society.

This bill, entitled “Supporting the goals and ideals of Complaint Free Wednesday” was introduced by Congressman Sam Graves (MO-6) on July 31, 2008, and encourages each person in the United States to participate in a day free from complaining on the Wednesday before Thanksgiving Day to prepare for our national day of gratitude.

Thank you in advance for your support of this legislation.

Sincerely,

__________ (Your Name)

______, ___ (Your Town, State)

So, act today and then leave me a comment letting me know that you took a first step to changing the world!

The First Step - Part 3 of 7

“The two important things I did learn were that you are as powerful and strong as you allow yourself to be, and that the most difficult part of any endeavour is taking the first step, making the first decision.”

~ Robyn Davidson

Have you ever felt powerless and weak when it came to achieving something important to you? I know I have. But like Robyn, I learned that I was far more powerful, far stronger than I initially believed I was. Let me share an example with you.

A number of years ago, I hiked to the rim of Mt. Saint Helen's with some members of my family. I was in pretty good shape and was cruising up the slope, at one point carrying my sister's backpack along with my own. But there came a point when my legs cramped up unexpectantly. It started out as just being really uncomfortable, but when we broke clear of the boulders and hit the pebbly slope that stretched to the rim of the volcano's crater, it quickly became intensely painful and my pace ground to a near-complete stop.

Seeing how much pain I was in, my father suggested I just sit and rest and they would pick me up on the way back down and help me reach the bottom. As appealing as it was to sit down at that moment and ease the pain, I simply replied that I was still moving. I started picking out points on the slope to walk to, but the more intense the pain got, the farther away those points seemed. I finally just started telling myself, "Take 10 more steps. You can do that much."

So, I took 10 more steps. Once I hit the tenth step, I told myself to take 10 more. And I kept taking 10 more until I collapsed with quivering legs on the crater's rim, looking down at the lava dome at its center. The interesting thing was that, while I was one of the last in our group to reach the rim, I was the first to reach the bottom, running and jumping all the way down completely free of pain, where I waited for the rest of my group to wearily straggle back to the car.

I learned the important lesson that day that I am far stronger than I tend to allow myself to be. That applies to more than just my physical body. I am smarter, wiser, and mentally tougher as well. And now, one of the things I enjoy most is pushing myself to see just how far I can go and how much I can achieve.

Sometimes, we just have to get out of our own way and see how far we can go. We have to erase the word "can't" from our vocabulary and keep on pushing on to see just exactly what we can do. The majority of the limits we have encountered exist only in our own minds. We have to make that difficult decision to take that first step beyond what we think we can do, and another after that, and another after that until we reach our desired destination.

So wherever you feel weak, wherever you feel you have gone just as far as you can possibly go and you have done all you can possibly do, take 10 more steps or improve by just 1% and allow yourself to be stronger and more powerful than you previously thought you were. And if you do it once, you can very well do it again, and again, and again.

Action Steps:
1. Write down an area where you wish you were better.
2. Write down you personal best achievement in this area.
3. Now write down what it would mean in terms of achievement to "take 10 more steps" or improve in this area by just 1%.
4. Take the first step beyond your previous record and keep on moving!

The First Step - Part 2 of 7

“The first step toward success is taken when you refuse to be a captive of the environment in which you first find yourself.”

~ Mark Caine

It is easy to fall into the trap of believing your environment is to blame for where you are in life. Perhaps you don't have the same opportunities as other people who come from wealthier families. You may not be as popular as some people. Maybe you don't have the same training and education that others have received. All of these situations and more can make you feel like a captive in your current state of being.

The truth of the matter is that your environment has nothing to do with you. When you want something bad enough, you will find a way to get it no matter what the obstacles. There are hundreds of stories of people who have overcome poverty, lack of education, shyness, opposition and more to go on to achieve things beyond even their wildest dreams. They simply refused to be held captive any longer. They took the first step and found that taking that step and another and another was far easier than living in defeat.

Action Steps:
1. Write down what areas of your life you feel are holding you captive from the freedoms you want to enjoy.
2. On a separate piece of paper, write down steps you can take that could break you free from your current prison. Be creative.
3. Wad the first piece of paper up into a ball and say to it, "I refuse to be your captive any longer. As of today, I am free!" and throw it in the trash.
4. Choose one of the steps you have written down that will give you your freedom.
5. Take the first step!

I'm Coming Back!

I haven't posted on this blog for nearly three months and I apologize to any of you that have been checking back regularly. I allowed myself to get too busy living my life to actual live my life. I fell back into the habit of getting by rather than cultivating the habits that will allow me to get ahead.

One habit that I have been neglecting is my 1/96th of a day habit that was taught to me by my friend and mentor John Dilemme. John pointed out that with there being four 15 minute periods in every hour, there are a total of 96 of them in every day. He proposed that if I spent 15 minutes of every day, 1/96th of my day, reading a motivational book or listening to an inspirational tape, my life would change drastically for the better over time. He called it feeding your spirit and has based it on the concept that what goes in, must come out.

I used to do this on a daily basis. I turned my car into a rolling university by listening to cds of Anthony Robbins, Brian Tracy, Mike Litman and others as I drove to and from work. I read books by Jim Rohn, Denis Waitley, Norman Vincent Peale and others as I ate lunch. Having done that for a while and now having gotten out of the habit, I can testify to you that it does make a difference. When I was in the habit of feeding my spirit, I thought and acted differently; far better than I do now. I didn't react as much as I do now. My hope was higher, my goals bigger and my heart happier and I was better for it.

I am taking up that 1/96th of a day habit again and you all have the opportunity to be my accountability partners. This blog will be a measure of how well I am doing in re-cultivating that habit because it will be the outlet for what I take in my spirit. I will spend a minimum of 15 minutes absorbing motivational, enlightening, inspirational, spirit-filling material for the express purposes of changing my life and sharing it with you in the hope that it will change yours as well.

You will be hearing from me again ... very soon!

When the wind does not blow your way...

"I can't change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination."

~ Jimmy Dean

How to Cure a "Bad Day"

Read this, and let it really sink in... Then, choose how you start your day tomorrow...

Jerry is the kind of guy you love to hate. He is always in a good mood and always has something positive to say. When someone would ask him how he was doing, he would reply, "If I were any better, I would be twins!" He was a unique manager because he had several waiters who had followed him around from restaurant to restaurant.

The reason the waiters followed Jerry was because of his attitude. He was a natural motivator. If an employee was having a bad day, Jerry was there telling the employee how to look on the positive side of the situation.

Seeing this style really made me curious, so one day I went up to Jerry and asked him, I don't get it! You can't be a positive person all of the time. How do you do it?" Jerry replied, "Each morning I wake up and say to myself, Jerry, you have two choices today. You can choose to be in a good mood or you can choose to be in a bad mood.

I choose to be in a good mood. Each time something bad happens, I can choose to be a victim or I can choose to learn from it. I choose to learn from it. Every time someone comes to me complaining, I can choose to accept their complaining or I can point out the positive side of life. I choose the positive side of life.

"Yeah, right, it's not that easy," I protested. "Yes, it is," Jerry said. "Life is all about choices. When you cut away all the junk, every situation is a choice. You choose how you react to situations. You choose how people will affect your mood. You choose to be in a good mood or bad mood. The bottom line: It's your choice how you live life."

I reflected on what Jerry said. Soon thereafter, I left the restaurant industry to start my own business. We lost touch, but I often thought about him when I made a choice about life instead of reacting to it.

Several years later, I heard that Jerry did something you are never supposed to do in a restaurant business: he left the back door open one morning and was held up at gun point by three armed robbers. While trying to open the safe, his hand, shaking from nervousness, slipped off the combination. The robbers panicked and shot him. Luckily, Jerry was found relatively quickly and rushed to the local trauma center. After 18 hours of surgery and weeks of intensive care, Jerry was released from the hospital with fragments of the bullets still in his body.

I saw Jerry about six months after the accident. When I asked him how he was, he replied, "If I were any better, I'd be twins. Wanna see my scars?" I declined to see his wounds, but did ask him what had gone through his mind as the robbery took place. “The first thing that went through my mind was that I should have locked the back door," Jerry replied. "Then, as I lay on the floor, I remembered that I had two choices: I could choose to live or I could choose to die. I chose to live."

"Weren't you scared? Did you lose consciousness?" I asked. Jerry continued, "...the paramedics were great. They kept telling me I was going to be fine. But when they wheeled me into the ER and I saw the expressions on the faces of the doctors and nurses, I got really scared. In their eyes, I read 'he's a dead man.'

I knew I needed to take action." " What did you do?" I asked. "Well, there was a big burly nurse shouting questions at me," said Jerry. "She asked if I was allergic to anything. 'Yes,' I replied. The doctors and nurses stopped working as they waited for my reply. I took a deep breath and yelled, 'Bullets!' Over their laughter, I told them, 'I am choosing to live. Operate on me as if I am alive, not dead.'"

Jerry lived thanks to the skill of his doctors, but also because of his amazing attitude. I learned from him that every day we have the choice to live fully. Attitude, after all, is everything.

• Positive thinking the the first step towards a happy life.

• Attitude is everything!

If everyone applies just these, the whole world will live in happiness.

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Isn't it funny how you always seem to come across those things you need to hear most, even if you don't want to hear it? This day has been a bit rough for me. Not that it has been a bad day. In fact it was only a couple of ---small--- things that happened this morning that started it spiralling downward. I even ended up getting a little grumpy with my wife which she totally did not deserve. I made a bad choice. Luckily, I recognized how badly I chose and was able to save the day by choosing something better.

Tomorrow, I plan to skip over "better" and choose to have the best day so far this month!

What do you choose?

“There is little difference in people, but that little difference makes a big difference. The little difference is attitude. The big difference is whether it is positive or negative.”

~ W. Clement Stone

A Personal Apology

It has been nearly 2 months since I last posted in this blog. If there is anyone out there that has been checking back regularly, I apologize for my absence. There have been many a time that I thought about writing a new post to inspire, encourage, advise and to breathe new life and ideas into the reader who comes by for a visit, but I just couldn't do it. I was just too discouraged, stressed and depressed.

Those of you that know me personally may be well-acquainted with my imperfections and flaws, but what many of you may not know is that depression was something that I struggled with for years. Under very special circumstances, I received inspired counsel at the age of 14 from a religious leader that did not know me personally in which I was told to beware of depression as that was a temptation that I would struggle with. Knowing that I was going to struggle with depression, however, did not provide me with the tools necessary to overcome it. It took me many years to figure out why I was depressed so often.

I don't want you to think that my life was especially miserable or difficult. I was pretty much an average American teenager. I had many bright, happy and very enjoyable moments in life, but they seemed to slip through my fingers so easily leaving more than enough room for the darkness that flowed into its place. I eventually learned that a major cause of my depression was my focus on all the things I did not have in life rather than being grateful for the abundance of health, talents, friends, education and wealth that I had been blessed with.

I may not have been the strongest or fastest individual, but I had a complete, healthy, relatively disease-free body that enabled me to play any sport I desired at an average to above-average level.

I may not have been the most-talented individual at sports, music, art or any other area of interest, but I could play sports, picked up on how to play the piano and guitar, re-taught myself how to sing after a throat injury (you can read more about that here), I could draw, paint and sculpt better than the average person and could virtually do anything that I set my mind to if I was willing to put in the time.

I may not have been the most popular individual, but I had many fun and loving friends of all ages in spite of my tendency to behave as a shy person would and hang in the background.

I may not have been the smartest kid in the class or pulled straight A's, but I quickly learned anything I wanted to and could retain the bulk of what I read freeing me from having to put in very much time reviewing and studying.

And I may not have had much money or material possessions growing up (in fact, my family's income was below the average and my parents had to make the dollar stretch with six kids), but I had more than kids in third-world countries, I had the ability and opportunity to work, and everything I listed above along with my family and many other things I did not mention gave me a very blessed and abundant life.

This last category has been the reason for my latest struggles. It is very difficult to focus on long-range goals like completing The Millionaire Marathon when my urgent, short-range issues keep rising up to slap you in the face every single day. I became frustrated, despondent and withdrew into myself to relive the pain again and again and again.


I am happy to say that I have overcome that through the application of an important lesson we all must remember when we are not happy with the way things are:

Do something; anything!!!

I couldn't change the whole situation in that moment, but I could tackle one small part of it and I did. I went to work with an urgency and focused on a future happy outcome. Just in the moving and the doing, hope revives and faith starts to rebuild. Making any sort of progress, no matter how small and insignificant it may seem, is a million times better than doing nothing at all.

Am I out of the woods, yet? No. But I am closer this week than I was last week and I will be even closer next week. I am just taking it one day at a time and making sure that my head and my heart stay in the right place.

As far as posting to this blog, I will resume my efforts to relay and share uplifting, motivating and hopefully inspiring material as often as I am able to do so. I am still working on the Universal Law series that I mentioned nearly 2 months ago and will finish it when I can, but I have some financial projects that take priority right now. So check back from time to time to see where I am at and, if you feel like doing so, leave a comment to let me know you are following and what you find interesting and helpful. If there are topics that you struggle with that you would like some input on, let me know and I will be happy to offer what I can.

I also invite you to come over to my personal blog at http://www.niceguyblogging.blogspot.com/ and read about the Million Step March challenge that I am participating in and the progress I am making with it.

The ABC's of Happiness

A--Accept
Accept others for who they are and for the choices they've made even if you have difficulty understanding their beliefs, motives, or actions.

B--Break Away
Break away from everything that stands in the way of what you hope to accomplish with your life.

C--Create
Create a family of friends whom you can share your hopes, dreams, sorrows, and happiness with.

D--Decide
Decide that you'll be successful and happy come what may, and good things will find you. The roadblocks are only minor obstacles along the way.

E--Explore
Explore and experiment. The world has much to offer, and you have much to give. And every time you try something new, you'll learn more about yourself.

F--Forgive
Forgive and forget. Grudges only weigh you down and inspire unhappiness and grief. Soar above it, and remember that everyone makes mistakes.

G--Grow
Leave the childhood monsters behind. They can no longer hurt you or stand in your way.

H--Hope
Hope for the best and never forget that anything is possible as long as you remain dedicated to the task.

I--Ignore
Ignore the negative voice inside your head. Focus instead on your goals and remember your accomplishments. Your past success is only a small inkling of what the future holds.

J--Journey
Journey to new worlds, new possibilities, by remaining open-minded. Try to learn something new every day, and you'll grow.

K--Know
Know that no matter how bad things seem, they'll always get better. The warmth of spring always follows the harshest winter.

L--Love
Let love fill your heart instead of hate. When hate is in your heart, there's room for nothing else, but when love is in your heart, there's room for endless happiness.

M--Manage
Manage your time and your expenses wisely, and you'll suffer less stress and worry. Then you'll be able to focus on the important things in life.

N--Notice
Never ignore the poor, infirm, helpless, weak, or suffering. Offer your assistance when possible, and always your kindness and understanding.

O--Open
Open your eyes and take in all the beauty around you. Even during the worst of times, there's still much to be thankful for.

P--Play
Never forget to have fun along the way. Success means nothing without happiness.

Q--Question
Ask many questions, because you're here to learn.

R--Relax
Refuse to let worry and stress rule your life, and remember that things always have a way of working out in the end.

S--Share
Share your talent, skills, knowledge, and time with others. Everything that you invest in others will return to you many times over.

T--Try
Even when your dreams seem impossible to reach, try anyway. You'll be amazed by what you can accomplish.

U--Use
Use your gifts to your best ability. Talent that's wasted has no value. Talent that's used will bring unexpected rewards.

V--Value
Value the friends and family members who've supported and encouraged you, and be there for them as well.

W--Work
Work hard every day to be the best person you can be, but never feel guilty if you fall short of your goals. Every sunrise offers a second chance.

X--X-Ray
Look deep inside the hearts of those around you and you'll see the goodness and beauty within.

Y--Yield
Yield to commitment. If you stay on track and remain dedicated, you'll find success at the end of the road.

Z--Zoom
Zoom to a happy place when bad memories or sorrow rears its ugly head. Let nothing interfere with your goals. Instead, focus on your abilities, your dreams, and a brighter tomorrow.

How Winning Is Done

"Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place and I don't care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard ya hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done! Now if you know what you're worth then go out and get what you're worth. But ya gotta be willing to take the hits, and not pointing fingers saying you ain't where you wanna be because of him, or her, or anybody! Cowards do that and that ain't you! You're better than that!"

~ Sylvester Stallone as Rocky in Rocky Balboa

The Seasons of Life

"It is the promise of spring that as we sow, so shall we also reap. Faith further provides to us an irrevocable law decreed in heaven which assures that for every disciplined human effort we will receive a multiple reward. For each cup planted, a bushel reaped, for every good idea given to another, many shall be given to us in return. For every demonstrated act of faith, a multiplicity of the rewards; and for every act of love given, a life of love in return."

~ Jim Rohn

As I travel around the country and world lecturing, one of the most frequently asked questions is what do I expect to happen over the next 6-12 months and/or even years? Well, I'm no expert, but I can share with you my thoughts. Whether it is preparing for the next few months or the next several years, I still believe there are overriding principals that we should follow and be led by. So I'd like to devote today's message to my view of the period of history we're in now and how it relates to words I wrote over 20 years ago in my book, "The Seasons Of Life". Forgive me in advance if I sound a bit philosophical, but as you know by now, I do believe your philosophy is critical to your life's success.

Life is about constant, predictable patterns of change. For the six thousand years of recorded history, as humans have entered this world, received parental instruction, classroom instruction, and gathered the experience of life; many have set for themselves ambitious goals, and dreamed lofty dreams. As the wheel of life continues its constant turning, all human emotions appear, disappear, and appear once again.

A major challenge faced by us all is that we must learn to experience the changing of life's cycles without being changed by them; to make a constant and conscious effort to improve ourselves in the face of changing circumstances.

That is why I believe in the power and value of attitude. As I read, ponder and speculate about people, their deeds and their destiny, I become more deeply convinced that it is our natural destiny to grow, to succeed, to prosper, and to find happiness while we are here.

By our attitude, we decide to read, or not to read. By our attitude, we decide to try or give up. By our attitude, we blame ourselves for our failure, or we blame others. Our attitude determines whether we tell the truth or lie, act or procrastinate, advance or recede, and by our own attitude we and we alone actually decide whether to succeed or fail.

How incredibly unique that a God who would create the complex and immense universe would create the human race and give to those humans the free choice that would permit them to select their own achievement or their own destruction.

This strange, but all-knowing God gave to us a delicately balanced sphere called earth. On it, he placed the intelligent human who would either develop it or destroy it. How terribly fascinating that a God would leave both projects - earth as well as humans - unfinished! Across the rivers and streams he built no bridges; he left the pictures unpainted, the songs unsung, the books unwritten, and space unexplored. For the accomplishment of those things, God created the unfinished human who, within his heart and mind, had the capacity to do all these things and more, depending upon his own choice.

Attitude determines choice, and choice determines results. All that we are and all that we can become has indeed been left unto us. For as long as you continue to draw breath, you have the chance to complete the work in and for the earth and for yourself that God has begun for you. In the cycles and seasons of life, attitude is everything!

So let's begin our discussion of the four seasons. I'll start by making two comments. First, life and business are like the changing seasons. That's one of the best ways to illustrate life: it's like the seasons that change. Second, you cannot change the seasons, but you can change yourself.

Now with those two key phrases in mind, let's look at what I consider to be the first major lesson in life to learn, and that is how to handle the winters. They come regularly, right after autumn. Some are long, some are short, some are difficult, some are easy, but they always come right after autumn. That is never going to change.

There are all kinds of winters - the "winter" when you can't figure it out, the "winter" when everything seems to go haywire. There are economic winters, social winters and personal winters.

Wintertime can bring disappointment, and disappointment is common to all of us. So you must learn how to handle the winters. You must learn how to handle difficulty; it always comes after opportunity. You must learn to handle recessions; they come right after expansions. That isn't going to change.

The big question is what do you do about winters? You can't get rid of January simply by tearing it off the calendar. But here is what you can do: you can get stronger; you can get wiser; and you can get better. Remember that trio of words: stronger, wiser, better. The winters won't change, but you can.

Before I understood this, I used to wish it were summer when it was winter. When things were difficult, I used to wish they were easy. I didn't know any better. Then Mr. Shoaff gave me the answer from a part of his very unique philosophy when he said, "Don't wish it were easier, wish you were better. Don't wish for fewer problems, wish for more skills. Don't wish for less challenge, wish for more wisdom."

Next is spring. Fortunately, following the turbulence of winter comes the season of activity and opportunity called springtime. It is the season for entering the fertile fields of life with seed, knowledge, commitment, and a determined effort.

However, the mere arrival of spring is no sign that things are going to look good in the fall. You must do something with the spring. In fact, everyone has to get good at one of two things: planting in the spring or begging in the fall. Take advantage of the day and the opportunities that spring can bring.

It is the promise of spring that as we sow, so shall we also reap. Faith further provides to us an irrevocable law decreed in heaven which assures that for every disciplined human effort we will receive a multiple reward. For each cup planted, a bushel reaped, for every good idea given to another, many shall be given to us in return. For every demonstrated act of faith, a multiplicity of the rewards; and for every act of love given, a life of love in return.

Just remember it is a natural characteristic of springtime to present itself ever so briefly, or to lull us into inactivity with its bounteous beauty. Do not pause too long to soak in the aroma of the blossoming flowers, lest you awaken to find springtime gone with your seed still in your sack.

With the intelligence, wisdom, and freedom of choice given to us as humans exercise the discipline to plant in spite of the rocks, weeds, or other obstacles before us. The rocks, weeds, and thorns of the world cannot destroy all your seeds if you plant massively enough and intelligently enough. My suggestion is to choose action, not rest. Choose truth, not fantasy. Choose a smile, not a frown. Choose love, not animosity. Choose the good in life in all things, and choose the opportunity as well as the chance to work when springtime smiles on your life.

Spring shows us that life is truly a constant beginning, a constant opportunity, a constant springtime. We need only to learn to look once again at life as we did as children, letting fascination and curiosity give us welcome cause to look for the miraculous hidden among the common.

Get busy quickly on your springs, your opportunities. There are just a handful of springs that have been handed to each of us. Life is brief, even at its longest. Whatever you are going to do with your life, get at it. Don't just let the seasons pass by.

The third major lesson in life to learn; how to nourish and protect your crops all summer. Sure enough, as soon as you've planted, the busy bugs and noxious weeds are out to take things over. Here is the next bit of truth: they will take it, unless you prevent it.

There are two key phrases to consider with the third major lesson. The first is "all good will be attacked." Don't press me for a reason. I was not in on some of the early decisions, so I don't know why. I just know that it's true. Let reality be your best beginning. Every garden will be invaded.

The second phrase is "all values must be defended." Social values, political values, friendship values, business values - all must be defended. Every garden must be tended all summer. If you don't develop this skill, you'll never wind up with anything of value.

But for those who make diligent efforts to plant, protect, and preserve there are not enough birds, bugs, or other obstacles to destroy all the efforts of last spring.

Now, the fourth and season is fall, the time of harvesting the fruits of our springtime labor. Fall also presents us with our fourth major lesson to learn in life, and that is to learn how to reap in the fall without apology if you have done well and without complaint if you have not.

For nothing is more exciting than a bounteous crop, and nothing more dreadful than a barren field in the fall. We must remember that in all areas of the human existence, what we put into this world, we get back from it. It is nature's way of evening the score. So regardless of the results, take full responsibility for your crop. One of the highest forms of human maturity is accepting full responsibility for our lives.

Which brings me back to the beginning of our discussion. We must remember that life is constantly recycling itself. Much of life is about the balancing of two opposites; like the positive and negative charge on a battery. Life's balancing of opposites totally surrounds our lives; man/woman, day/night, good/evil, life/death, water/land, summer/winter, recession/expansion, joy/sorrow, etc.

Yes, I believe we will have major changes, but I also believe we will continue to have just one winter, spring, summer and fall each year. Much of our success will lie in our ability and philosophy to plant in the springtime of opportunity. To weed and cultivate in the testing time of summer, to harvest without apology and/or complaint in the season of fall and to get stronger, wiser, better in the transition and learning times of winter.

Remember it is not what happens to you that determines your future; it is what you do about it.

To Your Success,
Jim Rohn


This article was submitted by Jim Rohn, America's Foremost Business Philosopher. To subscribe to the Free Jim Rohn Weekly E-zine go to www.jimrohn.com or send a blank email to subscribe@jimrohn.com Copyright © 2007 Jim Rohn International. All rights reserved worldwide.