Allow Your Life to Be Wonderful

I haven't posted for several days now as I have had a very full schedule of late and am at the same time preparing as best I can for the kick off of the 2008 National Novel Writing Month coming up this Saturday. In spite of my very full and very busy schedule, I do want to share with you something that my wife and I have been focusing on this past week that has had a major impact in our relationships, our businesses and our finances.

This concept is the culmination of a number of success training cds and books that I have been listening to and reading over the past several weeks. They all have a different focus on success, but the information I am about to share with you was present in all of them. And "in the mouth of two or three witnesses shall every word be established." (2 Cor. 13:1)

To start off, I want you to think of a goal you are currently pursuing or one that you are interested in pursuing. Fix that goal firmly in your mind and then answer the following question:

Why do you want to accomplish this goal?

As you answer this question, I want you to consider whether or not you have given the true answer to the question. In the company that I work for, we have found that the first answer we think of when we ask the question "Why did this happen?" is rarely the root cause of a problem. So we use what is called a "5 Why" process to get to the real answer. I recommend using the same process in identifying your core reason for wanting to accomplish a goal.

For example, let's say that you have a home-based business that is bringing in an extra $250 a month. You might have the goal of increasing the income from this business to $500 a month.

Why do you want to increase your income from your business to $500 a month?

To have more money in my pocket.

If you look at that answer, is the real reason you want to increase your income so that you can have more little pieces of paper with pictures of dead presidents on them is it? Of course not. So keep asking "Why?" until you find your real reason.

Why do you want more money in your pocket?

So that I can pay my expenses as soon as I incur them.

Why do you want to pay your expenses as soon as you incur them?

So I never have to go into debt for anything.

Why do you never want to go into debt for anything?

So I don't have the stress of making a credit card payment every month.

Why don't you want the stress of making a credit card payment every month?

So I can feel good whenever I think about my finances.

Your answers may have been different than these here, but if you ask "Why?" often enough you will most likely get to the point of saying "...because it makes me feel good." That is really what we want, isn't it? It doesn't matter if your goal is losing weight, developing an artistic or musical talent, finding a spouse, starting a business or any other target. Isn't your real reason for wanting these things in your life because they would make you feel good?

But can't you feel good right now?

Some of you may have responded to that question with "No! Not with the amount of debt I have!" or something similar. And if that was your response I would like to ask: Have you had any moments today where you felt happy, even if it was just for a moment? This week? This month? I am willing to bet that you have. And why is it that you were able to feel happy? You were probably focused on something else in that moment other than what you usually focus on to feel unhappy.

The large majority of us set up rules like the one I mentioned above that determine when we can feel happy and, by default, when we can't. I will be happy when I get rid of all this debt. I will be happy when I lose 50 pounds. I will be happy when I am lying on the sandy beaches of Hawaii. But we have those small moments that are exceptions to these imperfect rules where we feel happy even though we haven't satisfied our preset guidelines for happiness.

We can in this very moment be happy, not just feel happy, actually be happy by choosing to be so. As I mentioned in the last paragraph, we set the rules for when we can be happy so by the same measure we choose to not play by those rules. We can be happy right now! It is simply a matter of controlling our emotions rather than letting them control us.

And we must control our emotions if we are to accomplish our goals. If we don't, we will not have the power behind us that will enable us to succeed.

"Just as your car runs more smoothly and requires less energy to go faster and farther when the wheels are in perfect alignment, you perform better when your thoughts, feelings, emotions, goals, and values are in balance."
~ Brian Tracy

My wife and I have found this to be so true over the past few weeks. We have been working on controlling our emotions in regards to our financial situation and to the building of her Mary Kay business. My wife has also been applying this toward her continual efforts to meet a major weight-loss goal. We have released our attachments to what our expected outcomes are and just chosen to feel good no matter what happens. And the results have been amazing! We have experienced financial miracles, my wife's business has just been booming and she is making progress as she works on losing those last stubborn pounds that she wants to lose. (She has lost 45 pounds already!) In addition to that, our relationship with each other and with our children is better than it has ever been. Everything is just "clicking" for us!

But even if none of this had happened, we would still be happy ... because we choose to be so!

But it hasn't all been smooth sailing. You probably know as well as I do that whenever you feel like you are on top of the world someone or something will come along and try to knock you off. What makes the difference is how you respond to that event. And the best way you can respond is with gratitude.

If you are trying to pay down your debts and an exceptionally high utility bill comes through, be grateful for the continuous service that you have been given that enables you to light, heat and cool your home.

If you have a medical emergency, don't worry about the impending bill. Be grateful that you are still alive and live in an area where skilled and trained physicians are available to care for your medical needs.

If you are trying to lose weight and you go up one week rather than down, be grateful that you live in an area of the world where food is abundant and that you don't go to bed at night in extreme hunger.

If your business is building slower than you hope, be grateful that you have not only the skills and abilities to do business but also an exceptional mind that is open to ideas and inspirations that can and will lead you to build it faster and/or better.

Whenever obstacles arise before you, be grateful for them and the opportunity to become better and stronger by overcoming them.

If you think long enough, you can always find something to be grateful for. And it is impossible to feel grateful and be unhappy at the same time.

Whatever it is that you desire to accomplish in your life, allow your life to be wonderful in the process and watch how easily people, resources and events line up and fall into place to bring you success beyond your wildest dreams.

Action Steps:
1. Identify an area in your life you would like to improve or develop.
2. Identify what negative feelings come to your mind when you think about accomplishing this goal.
3. Release the negative feelings and choose to be happy.
4. Overcome challenges to your happiness with an attitude of gratitude.