Monday, April 7, 2008

A Personal Apology

It has been nearly 2 months since I last posted in this blog. If there is anyone out there that has been checking back regularly, I apologize for my absence. There have been many a time that I thought about writing a new post to inspire, encourage, advise and to breathe new life and ideas into the reader who comes by for a visit, but I just couldn't do it. I was just too discouraged, stressed and depressed.

Those of you that know me personally may be well-acquainted with my imperfections and flaws, but what many of you may not know is that depression was something that I struggled with for years. Under very special circumstances, I received inspired counsel at the age of 14 from a religious leader that did not know me personally in which I was told to beware of depression as that was a temptation that I would struggle with. Knowing that I was going to struggle with depression, however, did not provide me with the tools necessary to overcome it. It took me many years to figure out why I was depressed so often.

I don't want you to think that my life was especially miserable or difficult. I was pretty much an average American teenager. I had many bright, happy and very enjoyable moments in life, but they seemed to slip through my fingers so easily leaving more than enough room for the darkness that flowed into its place. I eventually learned that a major cause of my depression was my focus on all the things I did not have in life rather than being grateful for the abundance of health, talents, friends, education and wealth that I had been blessed with.

I may not have been the strongest or fastest individual, but I had a complete, healthy, relatively disease-free body that enabled me to play any sport I desired at an average to above-average level.

I may not have been the most-talented individual at sports, music, art or any other area of interest, but I could play sports, picked up on how to play the piano and guitar, re-taught myself how to sing after a throat injury (you can read more about that here), I could draw, paint and sculpt better than the average person and could virtually do anything that I set my mind to if I was willing to put in the time.

I may not have been the most popular individual, but I had many fun and loving friends of all ages in spite of my tendency to behave as a shy person would and hang in the background.

I may not have been the smartest kid in the class or pulled straight A's, but I quickly learned anything I wanted to and could retain the bulk of what I read freeing me from having to put in very much time reviewing and studying.

And I may not have had much money or material possessions growing up (in fact, my family's income was below the average and my parents had to make the dollar stretch with six kids), but I had more than kids in third-world countries, I had the ability and opportunity to work, and everything I listed above along with my family and many other things I did not mention gave me a very blessed and abundant life.

This last category has been the reason for my latest struggles. It is very difficult to focus on long-range goals like completing The Millionaire Marathon when my urgent, short-range issues keep rising up to slap you in the face every single day. I became frustrated, despondent and withdrew into myself to relive the pain again and again and again.


I am happy to say that I have overcome that through the application of an important lesson we all must remember when we are not happy with the way things are:


Do something; anything!!!

I couldn't change the whole situation in that moment, but I could tackle one small part of it and I did. I went to work with an urgency and focused on a future happy outcome. Just in the moving and the doing, hope revives and faith starts to rebuild. Making any sort of progress, no matter how small and insignificant it may seem, is a million times better than doing nothing at all.

Am I out of the woods, yet? No. But I am closer this week than I was last week and I will be even closer next week. I am just taking it one day at a time and making sure that my head and my heart stay in the right place.

As far as posting to this blog, I will resume my efforts to relay and share uplifting, motivating and hopefully inspiring material as often as I am able to do so. I am still working on the Universal Law series that I mentioned nearly 2 months ago and will finish it when I can, but I have some financial projects that take priority right now. So check back from time to time to see where I am at and, if you feel like doing so, leave a comment to let me know you are following and what you find interesting and helpful. If there are topics that you struggle with that you would like some input on, let me know and I will be happy to offer what I can.

I also invite you to come over to my personal blog at http://www.niceguyblogging.blogspot.com/ and read about the Million Step March challenge that I am participating in and the progress I am making with it.

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