Inspiration Found in an Unusual Place

On my NiceGuyBlogging blog, I like to post various movie quotes that I find entertaining or interesting. While looking for a good Halloween quote for today, I actually found a good inspirational quote from an unlikely movie. Here is the quote:

Madame Leota: What are you doing?

Jim: Hey, you leave me alone. Just get out of here and leave me alone.

Madame Leota: Oh, I see. You're just going to sit there, feeling sorry for yourself.

Jim: Tell me why not. This whole thing was my fault. We should've never been here in the first place. Supposed to be at the lake. We'd be sitting by a warm fire right now. And I made us come here. And now it's too late.

Madame Leota: No. It's never to late.

Jim: Hey, look, I tried to get in there, and I can't, all right? I tried! I failed!

Madame Leota: You try. You fail. You try. You fail. But the only true failure is when you stop trying.

Jim: What do you want me to do? Huh?

Madame Leota: Try again.

The Haunted Mansion

It is easy to fall into the trap of feeling sorry for ourselves when things don't work out. We feel like a failure and so we sit down and wallow in our misery. But what many of us don't know is that we may be sitting right on the one yard line with victory just ahead of us.

I have been telling my wife and kids this for years and I am going to share it with you as well. Nothing can defeat you! Nothing can cause you to fail! You only fail if you choose to stop trying! The only thing that can stop you is you!!!

So, when you feel thwarted, discouraged or down, remember the words of Tim Allen's character in the movie Galaxy Quest:

NEVER GIVE UP!

NEVER SURRENDER!

Allow Your Life to Be Wonderful

I haven't posted for several days now as I have had a very full schedule of late and am at the same time preparing as best I can for the kick off of the 2008 National Novel Writing Month coming up this Saturday. In spite of my very full and very busy schedule, I do want to share with you something that my wife and I have been focusing on this past week that has had a major impact in our relationships, our businesses and our finances.

This concept is the culmination of a number of success training cds and books that I have been listening to and reading over the past several weeks. They all have a different focus on success, but the information I am about to share with you was present in all of them. And "in the mouth of two or three witnesses shall every word be established." (2 Cor. 13:1)

To start off, I want you to think of a goal you are currently pursuing or one that you are interested in pursuing. Fix that goal firmly in your mind and then answer the following question:

Why do you want to accomplish this goal?

As you answer this question, I want you to consider whether or not you have given the true answer to the question. In the company that I work for, we have found that the first answer we think of when we ask the question "Why did this happen?" is rarely the root cause of a problem. So we use what is called a "5 Why" process to get to the real answer. I recommend using the same process in identifying your core reason for wanting to accomplish a goal.

For example, let's say that you have a home-based business that is bringing in an extra $250 a month. You might have the goal of increasing the income from this business to $500 a month.

Why do you want to increase your income from your business to $500 a month?

To have more money in my pocket.

If you look at that answer, is the real reason you want to increase your income so that you can have more little pieces of paper with pictures of dead presidents on them is it? Of course not. So keep asking "Why?" until you find your real reason.

Why do you want more money in your pocket?

So that I can pay my expenses as soon as I incur them.

Why do you want to pay your expenses as soon as you incur them?

So I never have to go into debt for anything.

Why do you never want to go into debt for anything?

So I don't have the stress of making a credit card payment every month.

Why don't you want the stress of making a credit card payment every month?

So I can feel good whenever I think about my finances.

Your answers may have been different than these here, but if you ask "Why?" often enough you will most likely get to the point of saying "...because it makes me feel good." That is really what we want, isn't it? It doesn't matter if your goal is losing weight, developing an artistic or musical talent, finding a spouse, starting a business or any other target. Isn't your real reason for wanting these things in your life because they would make you feel good?

But can't you feel good right now?

Some of you may have responded to that question with "No! Not with the amount of debt I have!" or something similar. And if that was your response I would like to ask: Have you had any moments today where you felt happy, even if it was just for a moment? This week? This month? I am willing to bet that you have. And why is it that you were able to feel happy? You were probably focused on something else in that moment other than what you usually focus on to feel unhappy.

The large majority of us set up rules like the one I mentioned above that determine when we can feel happy and, by default, when we can't. I will be happy when I get rid of all this debt. I will be happy when I lose 50 pounds. I will be happy when I am lying on the sandy beaches of Hawaii. But we have those small moments that are exceptions to these imperfect rules where we feel happy even though we haven't satisfied our preset guidelines for happiness.

We can in this very moment be happy, not just feel happy, actually be happy by choosing to be so. As I mentioned in the last paragraph, we set the rules for when we can be happy so by the same measure we choose to not play by those rules. We can be happy right now! It is simply a matter of controlling our emotions rather than letting them control us.

And we must control our emotions if we are to accomplish our goals. If we don't, we will not have the power behind us that will enable us to succeed.

"Just as your car runs more smoothly and requires less energy to go faster and farther when the wheels are in perfect alignment, you perform better when your thoughts, feelings, emotions, goals, and values are in balance."
~ Brian Tracy

My wife and I have found this to be so true over the past few weeks. We have been working on controlling our emotions in regards to our financial situation and to the building of her Mary Kay business. My wife has also been applying this toward her continual efforts to meet a major weight-loss goal. We have released our attachments to what our expected outcomes are and just chosen to feel good no matter what happens. And the results have been amazing! We have experienced financial miracles, my wife's business has just been booming and she is making progress as she works on losing those last stubborn pounds that she wants to lose. (She has lost 45 pounds already!) In addition to that, our relationship with each other and with our children is better than it has ever been. Everything is just "clicking" for us!

But even if none of this had happened, we would still be happy ... because we choose to be so!

But it hasn't all been smooth sailing. You probably know as well as I do that whenever you feel like you are on top of the world someone or something will come along and try to knock you off. What makes the difference is how you respond to that event. And the best way you can respond is with gratitude.

If you are trying to pay down your debts and an exceptionally high utility bill comes through, be grateful for the continuous service that you have been given that enables you to light, heat and cool your home.

If you have a medical emergency, don't worry about the impending bill. Be grateful that you are still alive and live in an area where skilled and trained physicians are available to care for your medical needs.

If you are trying to lose weight and you go up one week rather than down, be grateful that you live in an area of the world where food is abundant and that you don't go to bed at night in extreme hunger.

If your business is building slower than you hope, be grateful that you have not only the skills and abilities to do business but also an exceptional mind that is open to ideas and inspirations that can and will lead you to build it faster and/or better.

Whenever obstacles arise before you, be grateful for them and the opportunity to become better and stronger by overcoming them.

If you think long enough, you can always find something to be grateful for. And it is impossible to feel grateful and be unhappy at the same time.

Whatever it is that you desire to accomplish in your life, allow your life to be wonderful in the process and watch how easily people, resources and events line up and fall into place to bring you success beyond your wildest dreams.

Action Steps:
1. Identify an area in your life you would like to improve or develop.
2. Identify what negative feelings come to your mind when you think about accomplishing this goal.
3. Release the negative feelings and choose to be happy.
4. Overcome challenges to your happiness with an attitude of gratitude.

Success Statistics

As some of you know, I will be participating in National Novel Writing Month for the first time this year. Of the 101,510 people who signed up to do it in 2007, only 15,333 actually reached the 50,000 word mark. That is only 15% of all those who set the goal actually completed it. That isn't a very encouraging statistic, especially for first-timers. So I started researching the NaNoWriMO forums to see what pitfalls people have fallen into the past the frustrated them and what tactics people have used to succeed. In my research, I came across a link to the following chart:

While this was done for the 2003 participants, I don't believe that the percentages have changed much based on the comparable completion statistics between the years.

What do you notice that is interesting about these percentages?

I found it interesting that of the 27,483 people who set the goal to write 50,000 words in 30 days that year, 58% never even got started!!! That is nearly 2/3 of the whole group.

I think this statistic holds true for many people who set goals - if the number isn't even larger.

How many times have you set a goal to do something new or different and then never started on it. I know I am guilty of that ... far too many times than I care to admit. But there is one statistic that I have learned that I guarantee holds true for each and every person regardless of what their goals is. That statistic is that 100% of the people that never start a goal will never accomplish it!

So, if you want something to change, if you want something better in your life, you have to take the first step. Just look at the graphic again. Those that got started on their goal in 2003 improved their chances of completing it by 31%.

"The secret of getting ahead is getting started."
~ Mark Twain

Notice that only 31% of those that get started actually reach their goal and how that number jumps significantly at each 10,000 word milestone. I guarantee that the reason why 69% of those that got started never achieved their goal is because at some point in the process (probably very early on in the process) they decided that if they didn't work on their goal one day it wouldn't hurt their chances of success. They were wrong.

"Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going."
~ Jim Rohn

I know I have said it time and time again, but once you get going you have to keep going by working on your goal every single day. Establish early on the habit of doing something daily, anything at all, that is related to your goal. It harnesses the power of momentum, which will keep you rolling through the challenging times. And once you have done that for 17-30 days straight, it will suddenly become more uncomfortable to not take action than it is to take action!

Improve your chances of success by getting started and then establish good daily action habits early on so that you, too, can be an unstoppable force of achievement and success!

The Difference Between Winning and Losing

Over the years, I have read many stories and articles about successful people and listened to many different stories of people who have failed. In each of those stories, those who succeeded are not that different from those who failed. They each had a dream. They each took steps to achieve their dream. They each had moments of doubt. They each faced obstacles. They each had critics in abundance. They each struggled, strived and suffered. So why was there a difference in their outcome?

"Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time."
~ Thomas Edison

When I played basketball in high school, we were given a basketball "handbook" that was filled with information on drills designed to improve areas of your game, team and school rules, and inspirational and motivational quotes and stories interspersed throughout the book. One quote that has stuck with me through the years was by Vince Lombardi who said: "Winners never quit and quitters never win." I've applied that quote in sports, in relationships, in every area of my life and have learned that it isn't always the strongest, smartest or even most talented that wins. It is the one that lasts the longest.

"Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent."
~ Calvin Coolidge

When we start on a goal - be it building a business, getting out of debt, writing a novel, whatever it may be - we never anticipate that there will ever be a point where we will want to quit. We start off excited and focused on achieving our end result and we just go to work fully expecting that we will be victorious. But then we start to struggle. The results don't come fast enough or it is more difficult than we thought it would be (let me share with you a little secret about human nature - it is always more difficult than we think it will be because we never plan on it being that difficult) or some other excuse and we quit on our dream. We become so focused on the pain of that small moment of time that we completely forget or ignore how painful the rest of our life is going to be because we gave up and quit trying to achieve our goal.

"Pain is temporary. It may last a minute, or an hour, or a day, or a year, but eventually it will subside and something else will take its place. If I quit, however, it lasts forever."
~ Lance Armstrong

Can you imagine what would happen if a mother quit right when giving childbirth got painful? Can you imagine the results if a weightlifter quit right when it started to burn? Can you imagine the life of the student that decides to quit the first time they did not get an "A" on a test? Where has quitting ever done anybody any good?

"Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up."
~ Thomas Edison

You never know when your big break is going to come in the process. You never know just at what point things are going to click into place and it is all going to start to flow. You just have to trust that, when you are pedaling up the side of a mountain, at some point you are going to reach the peak and then you can coast down the other side picking up speed as you go. You just have to last longer than the upward slope does.

"When you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on."
~ Franklin D. Roosevelt

Whatever goal you are pursuing, check your determination level. Are you content with trying to achieve it? (Remember, "trying" is simply failing with honor.) Or are you at the REFUSE TO LOSE! level where it doesn't matter what comes your way - you triumph no matter what? The only person that can keep you from succeeding is you. If others have done what you dream of doing, you can do it, too! If nobody has ever done it, then be the first!!! But never, never, never quit on your dreams.

Don't You Quit!
~ Unknown

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all up hill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest! if you must; but don't you quit.

Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As everyone of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about
When he might have won had he stuck it out;
Don't give up, though the pace seems slow;
You might succeed with another blow.

Often the goal is nearer than
It seems to a faint and faltering man,
Often the struggler has given up
When he might have captured the victor's cup.
And he learned too late, when the night slipped down,
How close he was to the golden crown.

Success is failure turned inside out;
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt;
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems afar;
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit;
It's when things seem worst that you mustn't quit.

The Importance of Brick Walls

I have been reading Randy Pausch's book The Last Lecture and I came across a chapter where he talks about the importance of brick walls. Whenever we are in pursuit of something we really want, we all have encountered one or more brick walls that stand in the way of getting it. But Randy makes the point that brick walls are not designed to keep you from getting what you want. Not at all! Brick walls are simply there to test just how bad you really want it.



Think about that for a moment. Think about the last time you pursued a goal (no matter how big or small) that you did not achieve. What stopped you from achieving it? What was the brick wall? Why did it stop you? Or perhaps a better question is why did you let it stop you?



I am willing to bet that the majority of the brick walls we encounter that stop us are not insurmountable so much as they are unexpected. We have a plan, a road map that is going to take us from the where we are to where we want to be. We expect a few bumps in the road and maybe a couple of small hills; we know we could handle those. But where in the world did that mountain range come from? We then set up camp beside the mountains rationalizing that we have come so far and that is good enough. We obviously don't want it bad enough to climb the mountain.

"If you're trying to achieve, there will be roadblocks. I've had them; everybody has had them. But obstacles don't have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don't turn around and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it."
~ Michael Jordan

Michael Jordan is someone that I have admired for a long time - not so much for his achievements as for the example he sets in overcoming every brick wall that gets in his way to achieve it. Most people think Michael was just naturally talented and that was why he achieved all he did. But did you know that he was cut from the varsity team his sophomore year? Did you know that in the third game of his second NBA season he broke a bone in his left foot that sidelined him for 64 games? Did you know that he and his team were booted from the playoffs by the same team three years in a row, denying him his first NBA title? Do you know that he was highly criticized for that fact and his team leadership abilities questioned? Did you know that just before fifth game of the 1998 NBA finals he contracted a horrible case of the stomach flu but he played through it and still scored 35 points? (Most players can't score 35 points in a game when they are in the best shape of their lives.)

Michael Jordan is no stranger to brick walls. But he overcame every single one of them because he wanted what was on the other side bad enough. I remember watching that fifth game of the '98 finals. If you didn't see it, you probably don't understand how bad it was for him. But I saw the toll the physical exertion was taking on his already weakened body. The pain was etched in his face. At the end of the game, his teammates were practically carrying him off the floor to keep him from collapsing.

I wondered at the time why he played. It didn't secure them the championship because they still had to win one more game in order to do that. It wasn't for the thrill of playing the game because I could easily see that that particular game was absolutely all work and no play for him. What it came down to is this: he wanted that championship so badly for himself and for his teammates that he was completely unwilling to allow even the possibility of his team losing a single game if he was able to do something about it. He knew there was still a chance that he could fail - that they would lose the game. But he was okay with that possibility. What he was not okay with was not trying.

"I can accept failure, everyone fails at something. But I can’t accept not trying."
~ Michael Jordan

I did not mean for this to become a Michael Jordan tribute post, but what I hope you take away from this is that even the greatest achievers we have ever known have brick walls to overcome. Most multi-millionaires have experienced bankruptcy. Many fitness and health gurus were once fat. Beethoven was deaf. Thomas Edison was told by his teacher that he was too stupid to learn anything. Walt Disney was fired from by a newspaper because he "lacked imagination and had no original ideas." Oprah Winfrey was fired as a TV news anchor and was told she had "no business anchoring the news in a major market." Albert Einstein's PhD dissertation was rejected. Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen were rejected by 140 publishers who thought there was no market for Chicken Soup for the Soul. The difference between all of them and each of us is that they wanted their dreams bad enough to overcome any and every brick wall that arose in front of them.

Do you want it bad enough to do the same?

Action Steps:
1. Write down a dream that you are ready to pursue or one you are already pursuing.
2. Write down all the reasons why you absolutely have to achieve that dream. What will it give you? What pleasure will you experience?
3. Write down all that you will miss out on if you quit on your dream. What pains will you experience if you allow yourself to fail?
4. Identify foreseeable brick walls, both internal ones and external ones, that could possibly pop up in your way as you pursue your dream.
5. For each brick wall, identify strategies for going over them, around them, or through them.
6. Take action on your dreams every single day and don't settle for "good enough". You deserve better than that. You deserve the "GREAT!!!" So endure to the end so that you, too, may say, "I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith" (2 Tim. 4:7) and I AM VICTORIOUS!

I Just Have To!

I love sports movies - even the goofy kid movies put out by companies like Disney. The reason is that in every sport movie there is a defining moment of struggle. And in that moment, there is a lesson taught that has real life applications.

The other night I was watching the movie Rookie of the Year with my boys. The defining moment of the movie came in the second game that Henry was sent in to pitch. Henry is nervous and is struggling with his control. The lesson comes when Chet "The Rocket" Steadman is sent to the mound by the team manager to calm Henry down and give him some advice. Not knowing what to say, Chet tells Henry to use his "have to". He explains that this is the place you go when you are full of fear. You use your "have to" to pull yourself through in spite of the fear. Henry nods even though he doesn't understand and even Chet walks back to the dugout muttering "The 'have to'. What the heck was I talking about?" But the advice worked and Henry starts throwing 100 mph strikes and saves the game.

The reason this lesson intrigues me is because the following morning I was listening to a CD from Anthony Robbins' Personal Power II series where he was talking about the "7 Wealth Wounds". He makes the point that successful people get what they want in life because they make it a "have to". They will not accept any other alternative. He uses people who maintain a healthy weight as an example. If they set 130 lbs as the weight they have to maintain, the minute it creeps up to 132-133 they immediately do whatever they have to do to get back down to that 130 or even just a little below.

People who have achieved financial abundance operate the same way. They set a financial level that they have to reach and maintain and they do whatever it takes to get there. They are not content with just getting by even when just getting by may be significantly better than where they currently are. They have to be financially well off and nothing is going to stop them from reaching that point.

Are you someone who settles for getting by or even just improving a little from where you are now? I know I have been guilty of that. When I have had serious financial struggles (even to the point where a financial counselor told my wife and I that our only option was bankruptcy), my "have to" kicked in and I did whatever I needed to do to overcome the situation. Unfortunately, I failed to set my sights above the "getting by" level where I made just enough to cover my bills. So what happens is a medical emergency or major car repair would come along and wipe out my savings and knock me right back into financial distress.

A perfect example of this is a couple of years ago my wife and I started following Dave Ramsey's "Baby Steps" to getting out of debt. We built up $1,000 in savings for an emergency fund and went to work on paying off our smallest debt balance. A couple of months later the transmission on our van blew out. We didn't have the option of not repairing it because the van was our only means of transportation and essential to making the extra money that was keeping us afloat financially and enabling us to pay down our debt. The repair cost us $2,500. You can probably guess where we had to pull the additional $1,500 from.

I was listening to Dave's radio show the other night on the way home from work when I heard him advise a caller not to stay at the $1,000 savings level for very long because then you are just asking for trouble. I immediately thought to myself "Dave! Where was this level of honesty three years ago when we got killed financially while following your advice?" The truth of the matter is that we did not follow his advice - not entirely anyways. He advises working with "gazelle-like" intensity when setting up the emergency fund and paying off the debt. Once we had the fund in place and were paying our bills, we lost that intensity. We stopped working from our "have to" because it was no longer a have to in order to survive.

I was thinking about all of this last night and had a personal breakthrough that many of you can learn from as well. The reason why I settle for survival rather than making abundance my "have to" is that the pain was gone. In the Personal Power II series, Anthony Robbins talks about how the two greatest motivators in life are pain and pleasure and that pain is the greater motivator out of the two of them. Pain drives the "have to". When I was faced with the pain of bankruptcy, I kicked things up a notch or two to get away from that pain. Then when things leveled out financially the pain was gone and I settled back into a groove that kept us above that line where the pain of not being able to pay my bills would start up again, but just barely above. I derived pleasure from having gotten our family back to a level where we could survive again financially and the pain had disappeared so I had met my needs.

Now, I recognize that I would get more pleasure if I were living much further above that line, but that would mean a lot of hard work, it might mean more time away from my family, it would mean giving up some things that I enjoy right now; all things I associate pain with. So I was inadvertently motivating myself to stay right above one pain line and right below another. I had trapped myself in a very small comfort zone!

Do you have any areas in your life where you have done something similar? It may not be finances, but it may be related to weight loss, to self-improvement, to relationships, to parenting; it could be anything. Just look for an area where you are just getting by. Or look for areas in your life where you improved in the past, but then you just stopped and didn't go any further. What is motivating you to remain mediocre? What pleasure do you get from not pursuing your dreams? What pains are you effectively avoiding by not going after what you really want in life? Write it all down on a sheet of paper right now so that you can see clearly how you have trapped yourself where you are right now. Go ahead! I will wait until you are done.

Did you write it all down? I hope you did because, if you didn't, the rest of this post won't make a difference to you so you might as well quit reading right now and go find another blog to waste your time at. But it isn't to late too start changing your life right now. Write it all down right now!!!

Now, if you did write it all down, you probably experienced a moment of feeling a bit foolish. I know I did. I could now see how I was to blame for where I was at financially. I could no longer blame circumstances because I had already proven that I could overcome circumstances to get from being a step away from bankruptcy to being financially stable. But I was the one to blame for it not getting any better than that.

Did you see what happened there? I started to feel a NEW pain for my situation. And that is the first step to moving on from where you currently are - when it is too painful to stay!

So here are the steps that are going to enable you and me to motivate ourselves to move on from where we are right now. Take out a clean sheet of paper and...

1. Write down a definite goal for where you really want to be.

This is not a goal for where you think you can get to. This is where you really want to be. Just focus for a moment on WHAT you want and leave the HOW you are going to get it for later. Don't settle on a goal that is less than your best vision of your future. You deserve the best so allow yourself to have it!

State your goal in the present and make it S.M.A.R.T.

Specific - Does you goal answer the six "W" questions: Who, What, Where, When, Which, and Why?
Measurable - Does your goal answer the questions of how much, how many and how will I know when it is accomplished?
Attainable - There is very little that you cannot do if you are determined to do it. Use your inner compass to determine what is possible for you. Picture yourself in your mind accomplishing your goal. If you can "see" yourself doing it, it is attainable.
Realistic - A goal is realistic if it represents an objective toward which you are both willing and able to work. If you truly believe that it can be accomplished, then it is realistic.
Timely - Every goal needs a deadline. It creates a sense of urgency and has the added benefit of engaging your subconscious mind in the process. So when do you intend to complete your goal by?

T can also stand for Tangible, which means that your goal can be experienced with one of the senses (i.e. taste, touch, sight, smell and/or hearing). Tangible goals have a better chance of being specific, realistic and measurable, thus making them attainable.

After you have written down your new goal...

2. Write down all the pleasure you will get out of attaining that goal.

Get creative and list all the reasons reaching that goal will bring you pleasure. How much better will you feel? What will it do for your self-esteem when you pull it off? Who will it inspire? What will you have that you didn't have before? What options and opportunities will you now have? List it all!

Now that you have all the pleasure laid out before you, it's time to heap a bit of pain on top...

3. Write down all the pain you will experience if you don't go for the goal.

What are all the things you are going to miss out on if you don't do it? What embarrassments will you suffer? Who will follow your example and suffer the same frustrations you have? What will your life be life 5, 10, or 20 years down the line as you look at how different your life could have been if you had just changed it now? Get it all out there and notice how you are feeling as you write it all down.

I am willing to bet that you are going to start feeling some of that pain right now. GOOD! This changes your goal from a "want to" to a "have to". You now have to be completely debt free. You now have to maintain your weight at 130 lbs. You now have to learn to play that piano. You now have to increase your personal income by an additional $2,500 per month. The level you are now at should no longer feel comfortable. You have to move up!

You now have a new set of motivations. Take that old list and throw it away because that isn't you anymore. You are no longer content with mediocrity. It's time to go for it! So now it is time to...

4. Brainstorm a list of all the different things you could start doing today that would start you on the path to where you want to be.

Once you have your list of actions you can take...

5. Pick one thing to do today and do it!

"People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing ... that's why we recommend it daily."
~ Zig Ziglar

Keep your new list of motivations in a safe place and review them every single day. Remind yourself of the reasons why you are doing what you are doing and what will you suffer if you don't. That way when you come up against a seemingly insurmountable obstacle, they will be fresh in your mind and you will refuse to be stopped ... because you just have to succeed!

Have You Succeeded Today?

Success: To laugh often and much, to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children, to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends, to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others, to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded!
~Ralph Waldo Emerson

I am Complaint Free!

At the end of the First Step series yesterday we talked a little about the "Blame Game" and the negative effect that it has on you. Today, let's talk a little about the precursor to blaming - complaining!

You usually don't blame someone or something unless you have a complaint about something. And a complaint is nothing more than a negative focus on a particular situation or outcome. In fact, the dictionary defines a complaint as an expression of discontent, regret, pain, censure, resentment, or grief; lament; faultfinding.

What important lesson can you learn from that definition?

The point that I noticed in that definition is that in order for something to qualify as a complaint, it has to be expressed. It is human to feel discontentment, regret, pain, resentment and grief about things in life. But it is our choice whether or not we continue to focus on it and share that negative focus with others. The danger of doing so is that negativity is highly contagious and deadly to the spirit. The symptoms of this disease include depression, a darkening of the mind, unconscious and consistent frowning, a downward mental spiral, and an overwhelming desire to spread this disease further so that others will feel just as bad as you do or at least give you attention for having contracted it.

So, what do we do?

“If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude. Don’t complain.”
~ Maya Angelou

You have a choice when you are faced with something that dissatisfies you. You can eliminate the negativity altogether by simply changing what you don't like. But, if you can't change it (or, as I prefer, until you change it since I believe that there is very little in this world we cannot change if we persist long enough until it does change), change your attitude and focus on something positive. But, if you struggle to do even that much, the least you can do is keep it to yourself until you do find a better focus so that you do not spread that negativity out into the world.

The Serenity Prayer

God grant me the serenity to
accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

I was pleased to learn today that Congressman Sam Graves of Missouri introduced a bill last July designed to reduce the amount of complaining in the U.S. To some this seems impossible and a silly waste of taxpayer's dollars. Unlike the $700 billion bailout package that has yet to make a difference (that is not a complaint, mind you - just an observation of fact), this strikes at the core of a problem rather than the typical attempt to treat the symptoms and hope the problems we face go away. It is by no means an extravagant or costly plan. What Graves has proposed is to make the Wednesday before Thanksgiving an official “Complaint Free Wednesday” in the U.S. in order to help us prepare for a day of gratitude.

H.Con.Res.404 is currently in committee, but in order for it to pass it needs 50 members of Congress to act as co-sponsors. I have included the full text of the bill and, if you can support this act, click HERE or follow the instructions after the text of the bill to send an e-mail to your congressional representative and encourage their support of this act. I would then recommend that you e-mail everyone in your address book and encourage them to read this blog posting and e-mail their representative as well.

If you choose to act on this, please leave me a comment so that I can see who my fellow non-complainers are. Those are the people I want to hang out with!

HCON 404 IH

110th CONGRESS

2d Session

H. CON. RES. 404

Supporting the goals and ideals of Complaint Free Wednesday.

IN THE HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES

July 31, 2008

Mr. GRAVES submitted the following concurrent resolution; which was referred to the Committee on Oversight and Government Reform

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

CONCURRENT RESOLUTION

Supporting the goals and ideals of Complaint Free Wednesday.

Whereas the average person complains approximately 15 to 30 times per day, resulting in approximately 4,570,350,000 complaints per day in the United States;

Whereas people complain in order to negatively get attention from others, avoid taking action, pre-excuse poor performance, brag, or exercise control over others;

Whereas complaining damages a person’s health, relationships, and ability to solve underlying problems;

Whereas violence usually begins with complaining by expressing grief, pain, or discontent;

Whereas it is not complaining if a person acts proactively to resolve an issue;

Whereas ‘A Complaint Free World’ is an organization that encourages people to wear purple bracelets as a symbolic reminder to change a person’s complaining nature;

Whereas ‘A Complaint Free World’ has delivered approximately 5,439,532 purple bracelets to people throughout the world;

Whereas ‘A Complaint Free World’ hopes to inspire 1 percent of the world’s population to have a positive attitude;

Whereas supporters of this movement have worked with thousands of schools in the United States through the Complaint Free program and have achieved amazing results in creating positive attitudes; and

Whereas Complaint Free Wednesday will be observed on the day before Thanksgiving, providing each person in the United States a day free from complaining in order to prepare for a day of gratitude: Now, therefore, be it

Resolved by the House of Representatives (the Senate concurring), That Congress--

(1) supports the goals and ideals of Complaint Free Wednesday;

(2) encourages each person in the United States to remember that having a positive life begins with having a positive attitude; and

(3) recognizes and reaffirms the meaning of Thanksgiving by asking each person in the United States to use Complaint Free Wednesday to refrain from complaining and prepare for a day of gratitude.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Here is how you can garner support for this bill:

Congressman Sam Graves of Missouri has introduced House Resolution H.CON.RES.404 to officially declare the day before Thanksgiving “Complaint Free Wednesday” in the United States of America.

For this to become a reality, we need you to contact your congressional representative and ask him or her to become a Co-Sponsor of this bill. For it to pass, this bill needs 50 members of congress to act as co-sponsors.

* * * Here’s what To Do * * *

1. Go to www.house.gov/writerep/

You will be directed to The U.S. House of Representatives web site. Enter your STATE and ZIP CODE. This will launch a window so you can send an email directly to your congressional representative.

2. Email the following Text. You can copy and paste it from here.(Be sure and insert your representative’s name at the top and your name and town at the bottom)

Dear Representative ___________,

As you know, the attitude of a society plays a critical role in the well being and prosperity of its citizens.

The United States has long been the can-do optimist capital of the world, and I urge you to please CO-Sponsor and support H.Con.Res 404, which reminds Americans that a positive attitude and avoiding complaints can have a profound impact on our society.

This bill, entitled “Supporting the goals and ideals of Complaint Free Wednesday” was introduced by Congressman Sam Graves (MO-6) on July 31, 2008, and encourages each person in the United States to participate in a day free from complaining on the Wednesday before Thanksgiving Day to prepare for our national day of gratitude.

Thank you in advance for your support of this legislation.

Sincerely,

__________ (Your Name)

______, ___ (Your Town, State)

So, act today and then leave me a comment letting me know that you took a first step to changing the world!

The First Step - Part 7 of 7

“Take the first step, and your mind will mobilize all its forces to your aid. But the first essential is that you begin. Once the battle is startled, all that is within and without you will come to your assistance.”
~ Robert Collier

Most people do not consciously recognize that there is a mind/body connection that can aid us or hinder us depending on how we use it. A quick way to test this is to think of what you do with your body when you are sad or depressed. Your head will be down, your eyes will be looking down, your posture slumped, your breathing shallow; whatever it is that you usually do when you are in that emotional state. Now, consciously perform those actions without any particular reason to feel that way and pay attention to how those actions combined affect your emotions and your level of thinking.

Now reverse it. Act the way you normally act when you are happy or really excited. Your head is held high, you are standing tall, you are breathing fully, your eyes are wide and looking upward, and you have a big silly grin on your face. Do this and see how those actions affect you. Now while you are acting happy, without changing any of those characteristics, try to get depressed. If you are honest and you stayed in your "happy stance", I am willing to bet that most people who try this are not able to get depressed.

So, why do I bring this up?

When you are immobilized in terms of your goals, when you procrastinate doing what you really want to do, that immobility has a dampening effect on your mind. And, conversely as Robert Collier points out, when you take the first step, your mind mobilizes all of its available faculties to aid you in achieving your goals and dreams. And when you act and your mind engages, you feel good, which, in turn, makes you want to act again, creating a Mind/Body Achievement Cycle and, pretty soon, you are "on a roll!"

But not only does your mind and your body work together for your good when you decide to act, but the universe conspires WITH you as well! Take my wife, for example. She is a Mary Kay consultant and she had to make a decision regarding her business. She could either scale back her efforts and settle into an easy, comfortable flow of business that would provide her with a little bit of extra money each month and leave her time to pursue other side interests, or she could pursue her dream of being a Director with an "I will not be denied!" attitude until it is achieved which would not only provide her with a good source of income to pay off debts and take amazing vacations with our family, enable her to meet new and amazing women on a regular basis, give her a huge sense of achievement, and win her a number of fabulous gifts and prizes every month. She decided to go for it!

Within days of her decision, incredible things started to happen. Her schedule for the following month was almost completely booked up. She had people lining up to join her team and go for their dreams as well. She even met a lady at the grocery store who she had never met before who gave her a solid lead for someone who was ready to join her Mary Kay team right away - someone my wife hadn't even worked with yet! Everything just started to fall into place seemingly overnight and my wife is well on her way to accomplishing amazing things with an amazing company.

In conclusion of the First Step series allow me reiterate the last words of Robert Collier's quote:

"...Once the battle is startled, all that is within and without you will come to your assistance."

A single step is all that stands between you and the path to getting everything you want out of life. There will be other steps to take and lessons to learn along the way, but it only takes a single step to get started. Take that step, my friends, and get yourself on the path. Nothing worthwhile comes to those who stand still in life expecting everything to be handed to them on a silver platter. We live in a "self-service" world where we have to get out and get the things we want. Don't be foolish enough to believe people are just going to hand it to you. It is as my father always told me: "He who hesitates is lost."

Take the first step and I will see you at the finish line!

Action Steps:
1. Take the first step towards your dreams and goals today!
2. Keeping taking small steps every single day until you achieve them!
3. Visit The Millionaire Marathon blog consistently for more tips, information and insights to help you along the way.

The First Step - Part 6 of 7

“Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.”
~ Martin Luther King, Jr.

Yesterday we talked about having a plan or goal and breaking it down into small stepping stones that will carry you from where you are to where you want to be. But what do you do when you don't know all the steps to take? What do you do when you can't see the path from beginning to end, when you can only see the first few steps? Most people don't do anything. This is known as "paralysis by analysis".

It really does not matter if you don't know how to do something. You only need to know the first step to take. If you know that much, you take a "leap of faith". Boyd K. Packer describes this as "the moment when you have gone to the edge of the light and stepped into the darkness to discover that the way is lighted ahead for just a footstep or two."

Jack Canfield also talks about this faith in the movie, The Secret, when he talks about driving from California to New York at night. You don't have to see from one coast to the other to get there. All you need is for your headlights to show you the next 200 feet before you. And once you have traveled those 200 feet, your headlights will reveal the next 200 feet, and so on, and so on until you reach your destination.

But some of you may worry about starting off in the wrong direction because you can't see the full path. I struggle with perfectionist tendencies from time to time, so I can totally understand that concern. Let me share with you an example of where I learned to overcome that struggle. I have aspired for many years to be a popular fiction writer. I was working on one particular story and decided to outline the story from beginning to end to prevent me from getting bogged down in the writing of it. I managed to complete 90% of the outline, but was unable to finish it because I couldn't quite see how to wrap up the story without dragging the ending out and boring the reader with explanations and dialogues that lacked the action to hold their interest. I agonized over this for weeks (yes, weeks) and made absolutely no progress, whatsoever.

I finally came to the realization that, while I didn't have a neat and tidy ending laid out, I had the bulk of the novel planned and ready to write. Why worry so much about an ending that hasn't even had a beginning yet? So I started writing, trusting that the ending would present itself at some point in the process. The funny thing is that within two days of writing, of getting the creative process flowing and putting it into action, the pieces started to fall into place. I still don't have it completely nailed down, but I am very close and have full faith that it will not even be an issue when I get to that point in the story. But even if I end up with a poor ending to my story, it is only a first draft. Any story can be written, but only great stories are rewritten!

So don't worry so much about the how, focus on the now and take the first step in faith!

Action Steps:
1. Write down something that you have been procrastinating because you don't know fully how to accomplish the task or goal.
2. Identify and write down the first step that you can take.
3. Take the first step in faith!

The First Step - Part 5 of 7

“Have a bias toward action - let's see something happen now. You can break that big plan into small steps and take the first step right away.”
~ Indira Gandhi

Imagine just for a moment that you have just been invited to the movie set of a Christopher Nolan film. Although Batman Begins and The Dark Knight were huge successes, this is to be far greater than anything he has ever done so you are very excited to witness the master at work as he creates what is sure to be a blockbuster film. All the actors are on their marks ready to film the next scene and special effects and technical crews stand waiting to work their magic as Christopher steps forward and calls out the traditional "Lights! Cameras! ..." and then nothing happens.

The same thing happens with your life when you have goals, dreams and plans, but never act on them. You are the director of your life. You can either create a blockbuster event that the whole world would pay good money to see, or you can squeeze out a low-budget, no-plot B-movie that is quickly forgotten by the five people who went and saw it.

What is the movie you want to create? Is it a comedy that keeps people laughing? Is it a romance that inspires people to treat their spouses better? Is it an inspirational movie that moves people closer to God? Is it a "Biggest Loser" documentary starring you? Whatever type of movie you want to direct yourself in, make sure it is an ACTION movie. Go out and tackle your B.H.A.G. (Big Hairy Audacious Goal) and give the world something worth watching.

One of the major problems with B.H.A.G.s are that people are intimidated by them. Even though accomplishing their B.H.A.G. would be a huge deal to them, most people never start on them or they give up soon after they start because the end seems so far away. It seems unattainable. I talk a little bit about that in The Millionaire Marathon program and how to conquer that fear. Here is an exerpt from The Millionaire Marathon:

The Power of Stepping Stones

Just like any marathon, in order to reach the finish line, you have to take the steps that will carry you from the starting line to the end of the course. There may have been times in your life where you thought, “If I had a million dollars, my life would be so much better/easier/more fun.” But, if your life would be so much better, why didn’t you set out in that moment to create a million dollars? Is it because the idea was too big?

Try a little experiment with me. Imagine you just came home and as you enter the family room you discover that someone had broken in and tore up the place. Your DVDs are thrown all around the room, the couch is tipped over, books were pulled off the bookshelf, the curtains are lying on the floor, your potted plants are knocked over, the laundry you folded before you left has been thrown all around – it is a complete disaster area! You can’t take a single step into the room without stepping on something. You, of course, call the police. They come, take their photos, promise they will be in touch, and then they leave you alone with Martha Stewart’s worst nightmare.

Now, notice what your mind does when I give you the following instructions. Keep in mind that you are the only one there so these instructions are for you and you alone
--- CLEAN THE ROOM!

Now, most of you probably did not immediately picture a clean family room. You probably started going through a mental checklist of what to do to get it clean which may have included pick up the books and put them on the shelf, put the DVDs away, push the couch back upright, hang the curtains back up, rewash and fold the laundry, straighten up the potted plants, vacuum the whole room, etc.

Some people’s mental checklist may have been get the phone book, open to the yellow pages, look up a local cleaning service, pick up the phone, dial their number and ask how quickly they can send someone over. (There is absolutely nothing wrong with taking the easy route!) And some people’s mental checklist may have been break down in tears, go get the half-eaten pint of Ben & Jerry’s from the freezer and hide out in the bedroom until your spouse gets home.

The human mind is a funny thing in that it cannot cope with large projects. No matter which line of thought your brain may have followed, it had to take the large project and break it down into smaller, more accomplishable tasks. This is one of the true secrets of success in any endeavor. It doesn’t matter if it is to create a highly popular video game, lose 50 pounds, write a New York Times’ #1 best-selling novel or create one million dollars. Simply break the task down into the small stepping stones that will enable you to traverse the chasm that lies between where you are today and where you want to be tomorrow … and TAKE ACTION!!!

Action Steps:
1. Identify and write down a major goal you want to accomplish.
2. Write down the major tasks you need to do to accomplish this goal. These are your milestones.
3. Break your plan down into small stepping stones that will carry you from milestone to milestone.
4. Write down a "reward" for each milestone you reach.
(Note: Rewards don't have to be expensive. In fact, they can cost absolutely no money at all. It just has to be something that makes you feel good. Get creative!)
5. Take ACTION and take the first step!