The Most Valuable Question You May Ever Ask

As you begin to take action toward the fulfillment of your goals and dreams, you must realize that not every action will be perfect.

Not every action will produce the desired result. Not every action will work.

Making mistakes, getting it almost right, and experimenting to see what happens are all part of the process of eventually getting it right.

Thomas Edison is reported to have tried over 2,000 different experiments that failed before he finally got the light bulb to work. He once told a reporter that, from his perspective, he had never failed at all. Inventing the light bulb was just a 2,000-step process. If you can adopt that attitude, then you can be free to take an action, notice what result you get, and then adjust your next actions based on the feedback you have received.

Ready, Fire, Aim!
Don’t be afraid to just jump in and get started moving toward your goals. As long as you pay attention to the feedback you receive, you will make progress. Just getting into the game and firing allows you to correct and refine your aim.

The Most Valuable Question You May Ever Learn
In the 1980s, a multimillionaire businessman taught me a question that radically changed the quality of my life. So what is this magical question that can improve the quality of every relationship you are in, every product you produce, every service you deliver, every meeting you conduct, every class you teach and every transaction you enter into?

Here it is:

“On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate the quality of our relationship during the last week?”

Here are a number of variations on the same question that have served me well over the years...

“On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate…

• our service?
• my teaching?
• our product?
• this class/seminar/workshop?
• this meeting?
• our date/vacation?
• our performance?
• this meal?
• my coaching/managing?
• this book/recording/show?
• my parenting/babysitting?

Any answer less than a 10 always gets this follow-up question:

“What would it take to make it a 10?”

This is where the *really* valuable information comes from. Knowing that a person is dissatisfied is not enough. Knowing in detail what will satisfy them gives you the information you need to do whatever it takes to create a winning product, service or relationship.

There Are Two Kinds of Feedback
There are two kinds of feedback you might encounter – negative and positive. We tend to prefer the positive – that is, results, money, praise, promotion, raise, awards, happiness, inner-peace, etc. It feels betters. It tells us we are on course and doing the right thing.

We tend not to like negative feedback – lack of results, little or no money, criticism, poor evaluations, complaints, unhappiness, inner conflict, pain, etc.

However, there is as much useful data in negative feedback as there is in positive feedback. It tells us that we are off course, headed in the wrong direction, doing the wrong thing. This is priceless information!

In fact, it’s so valuable that one of the most useful projects you could undertake is to change how you respond to negative feedback. I like to refer to negative feedback as information for “improvement opportunities.” Here is a place where I can get better.

Ask Yourself for Feedback
In addition to asking others for feedback, you need to ask yourself for feedback, too. More than any other source of feedback, your body will tell you whether or not you are on course or not. When you are relaxed and happy, your body is telling you that you are on track. When you are constantly exhausted, tense, in pain, unhappy and angry, then you are off track.

Take time to listen to what your body is saying to you. Take time to listen to your physical sensations and your feelings. They are sending you important messages. Are you listening?

Remember, Feedback Is Simply Information
You don’t have to take it personally. Just welcome it and use it.

For more on Using Feedback to Your Advantage, review Principle #19 in The Success Principles. It’s one of the most important principles you can apply.

© 2007 Jack Canfield
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Jack Canfield, America’s Success Coach, is the founder and co-creator of the billion-dollar book brand Chicken Soup for the Soul and a leading authority on Peak Performance. If you're ready to jump-start your life, make more money, and have more fun and joy in all that you do, get your FREE success tips from Jack Canfield now at: http://www.freesuccessstrategies.com/

How to Get Lucky!

I stumbled across a blog today at http://www.thesimpledollar.com/ and read a post of a review of the book Never Wrestle With A Pig by Mark McCormack. The author of the blog highlighted some of the points the book made, but I want to mention just one that is vitally important. In the first chapter of the book, Give Yourself A Reality Check, McCormack talks of our need to realize that you have to work hard to make it happen.

I agree 100% with that point. People who think that it is easy for someone else to succeed and it should be easy for them as well don't really know what they are talking about. They aren't privy to the years of experience that built up the skills that makes what they are doing now look easy. They aren't privy to the time they spent cultivating relationships, studying and gaining essential knowledge, establishing habits of setting goals and achieving them, becoming proficient in establishing effective plans that lead to successful accomplishments, etc. We just sit back and classify them as "lucky" and wish we could be lucky just like them.

"Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity."
~ Seneca

One of the points McCormack makes that I want here is that if you're relying on luck to carry you through something, it probably won't work! You need to put all your effort into making yourself "luck proof" just as these "lucky" people have done. Consistent winners are those who have done everything they can to stack the odds in their favor. They plan and prepare and then do absolutely EVERYTHING in their power to bring about favorable results.

"I'm a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work the more I have of it."
~ Thomas Jefferson

Whatever it is that you want in life, plan for it, prepare for it, persistently pursue it and you, too, can get lucky!

3 Ways to Ask

Yesterday, I suggested that in order to get more out of life you need to ask for it. As I was writing that blog post, it occurred to me that there is more than one way to ask. I have for your consideration three different ways to make your request and the situations where they are most likely to come into play.

1. Verbal Asking

This is probably what the majority of you first think of when you hear the words "Ask for it!" This method is primarily used when you want something tangible from someone else. When kids want a drink, they verbally ask their parents - even if it means calling out their order from the other room at 2 a.m. When employees want a raise, they have to verbally ask their boss. When a customer wants a discount, they verbally ask the salesperson. Probably the only instance where you don't believe you have to verbally ask for something from someone else is in marriage. (You mean you didn't know that men are supposed to be mind readers?)

2. Asking by Taking Action

This method of asking is primarily used when you want something from yourself rather than for yourself. If you want to become a more successful salesperson, you need to act the way a successful salesperson does. If you want to have bigger muscles, you have to ask your body to cooperate by acting on your desire and lifting weights. If you want to have more positive thinking, you ask your mind to cooperate by focusing on what's good in life. If you want to lose weight, you have to take action by implementing a better diet and exercise program. I really don't think it would be an effective strategy to ask each piece of cheesecake you eat to stay away from your hips. They tend to ignore those types of requests.

3. Asking by Giving

This last method is best realized in emotional areas. If you want to feel love, give love to others. If you want to feel peace, bring peace into the lives of others. It also means that if you want to feel hate, give hateful experiences to others. So we must be careful with this method - especially because that which we receive, good or bad, is usually in greater proportion to that which we gave out.

The great thing about this method is that it can totally change your day in an instant. If you are feeling sad and lonely, you can change that around by simply giving your loving friendship to another.

So take some time after you have read this and think about what it is you want and ponder which method would be the most effective to use in order to ask for it. Then start asking!!!

If it is scary for you to ask for things, my recommendation to you is to ask anyway!

"Do the thing you fear the most and the death of fear is certain."

~ Mark Twain

The more often you ask - even for little things, the easier it will be to ask no matter how big the request.

"That which we persist in doing becomes easier; not that the nature of the thing itself is changed, but that our power to do is increased."

~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

And if you don't get it right away or someone tells you "No!", my advice to you is to take the advice of Mark Victor Hansen when he says, "You have to ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask!"

To learn more about the power of asking and how to do it, I recommend reading The Aladdin Factor by Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen.